identity

my mind is never quiet

but i still have no words.

i am lost in my own head

drowning in a black sea

whose stormy waves never cease.

my mind feels distant

from the walls that surround me

like discordant ringing in my ears.

i live only in my head,

see the world

through tortured eyes.

my lips kiss the obscure

and my fingertips brush everything that disappears.

i borrowed my body

from the pawn shop -

i paid with my freedom

and i wish i could get it back.

my bank account is empty.

i have loved too much

and not at all.

(i never knew who i was).