I wonder

---*---

As I sit here in silence, while the Sunlight recedes,

contemplating my shadows showing up by my side,

can't stop asking questions, as my old mind misleads,

about paths and decisions, and the doubts they imply.

---*---

As I sit here in silence to rewind those highlights,

and replay every scene as I can bring it alive,

I wonder how many of them were indeed a delight

worth their weight in pure gold, always set to come back.

---*---

Was I good at behaving the way I see myself doing?

Was I plenty at explaining the ways the world seems to exist?

I don't have too much time on my hands for reviewing,

but I can try to understand and fulfill my checklist.

---*---

Nobody's perfect. Parenting kids is no doubt

One of the hardest assignments one can try to complete.

You give your best all the time, and still get knocked out,

your patience, your strength, all your resources depleted.

---*---

It's only when you see them learning from their own mistakes

that you see control slipping from the domain you thought you had.

All that teaching you did, showing up, and you hope it awakens

their response to the crisis, right on time, and it's not all that bad.

---*---

As I sit here in silence, while the Sunlight recedes,

I can't stop asking questions, trying to fill every need.

I don't have too much time, but I always wanted to know

if I did it all right, or if I became just my own foe.

---*---

As I sit here in silence to rewind those highlights,

I wonder how many of them made me feel truly alive.

You try your best all the time, and you trust your gut feeling,

while you watch their stories about their mistakes and their healing.

---*---

Nobody's perfect. Parenting kids is no doubt

one of the noblest assignments you can have fill with your life.

I no longer wonder how many of them were indeed a delight.

As I sit here in silence, I know they all made me feel complete and alive.

---*---