An anxiety attack woke me up this morning. It woke me before even my alarm went off, Way before actually. I knew as my heart raced as my mind paced as the negativity erased me that I needed to leave the house.
Yet in knowing what you need to do and doing it there is a huge cavernous space. And the seductive voice of Depression can be like a siren to the soul. It’s melancholy song searing it’s rhythmic acidity into your very being.
As the day progressed I felt like I was running a race that never ended. My heart beating against its cage to escape its confinement. My chest burning as if a fire were lit at my heart.
When there is a reason for the anxiety it is so much better to deal with. When there is nothing, not a thought, not care that causes it, It's frustrating. Just a heart racing out of control making interactions more intense. Arguments, more brutal, words said to hurt more like piercing spears.
It's like having a heart attack, it feels like having a heart attack. Yet it never ends it just continues not easing up. Boom boom boom it goes on and on. Boom boom boom and the words in your head make it worse. Boom boom boom I have to breathe and relax and release.
Take a moment and breathe. Slow my mind or take it to another place. Quiet the voices that nag me in my head that love this acceleration, taking my body for a joy ride. I may not know what caused it but I know the villains that rev it up. They are constantly with me never giving me a break always speaking toxic nothings in my head.
Slow and breath, slow and breath that's what I got to do. Take my mind on a lovely little breeze, an ocean with calm waves. Quiet the beast that speaks to me so I can uncover my soul and see.
High on a mountain top just breathing cold crisp air take this feeling away from me, make me not care. I just want my heart to stop and hope it doesn't tear. So I just stand here and continue to stare. Hoping I can calm anxiety and make it not there.
About the Creator
WrittenWritRalf
I am Writtenwritralf on a journey to become a better writer. Join me and we can take this trip together and come on out on the other side better for it. At least that’s the goal of the vocal the show and my Journey.
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Comments (2)
I learned "box breathing" in chaplain class and it's a game-changer. I recently saw a video on Facebook that is very similar to it and offers an app to coach you through the breathing / calming exercise. I highly recommend breathing asa calming aid. Inhale for four seconds, hold it for four seconds, exhale for four seconds and then repeat. I have found that some people are not comfortable with four seconds so it's OK to do three seconds or even two seconds if that's what works for you. But part of the calming exercise of box breathing is that you focus on your breathing instead of what your mind is trying to control you with.. it gives your mind rest from being tormented, as you focus on your breathing instead. I know that this post is from three years ago but the breathing is still relevant. 😊✨
One day at a time