I wish it was all Purple

I tell people I'm split in half.

The polars of this brain.

The sexuality of this soul.

"Can you tell me how the red feels?" I stop for a second.

The red feels like writing all night.

The red is stop lights and her lipstick staining my cheeks.

I don't think about it.

I tell them that sometimes I just feel the red all over.

It's in the color of the fire I feel for her.

It's in the second half of the disorder that resembles all this fire.

This fire I walk through.

It burns over and over again.

"Can you tell me what blue feels like?"

I begin.

The blue is the drawn curtains and unanswered messages.

The blue is the color of hair dye stains and his cold stare from miles away beckoning me closer.

I never think about it.

I guess I feel so blue sometimes with these colored glasses shielding the world from me.

I feel so blue when he comes and goes and comes again and never asks me how I'm feeling.

It's the waters I scream into.

It's the infinite possibilities I wander into.

But let me tell you.

Sometimes the fire stops burning and the waters don't really drown me.

Sometimes the Lithium does its job right and I don't feel like I'm suffocating.

Sometimes she's gentle enough to not break my heart all over again.

And sometimes he's constant and doesn't leave me.

I could paint so many pictures with this colour in me.

They tell me I have a good head on my shoulders. They don't understand how far I've been walking.

Sometimes the two polars settle on an agreement and give me peace.

Sometimes my heart finds the one she wants and doesn't give me grief.

In those temporary seconds

In the midst of all the chaos

In the midst of all the screaming

In the midst of all the laughter

In the midst of the scuffled moaning

I feel purple

And the world just settles down again.