i used to be

the boy i used to be

never really died

i can still hear him laughing

buried deep inside.

he sits calm an’

waitin. unsure but unafraid

an’ unashamed

content among the

trees and cobwebs

in my mind. plenty

of things to kill the time.

first locked him away when

i was nine an’ learned

the world was unkind.

created a stronger tougher

man who could bare

the hard times.

to protect that boys

innocence i bore a man

who never learned to cry.

wore him like a mask

only takin it off all alone an’

late at night.

pretty soon that

boy i used to be got

hard to find. mask got

plastered and permanent.

i forgot there was ever a boy to hide.

it’s times like these (close

with you) i can feel him

crawlin’ out, wantin’ to be

heard again. maybe he’d be

safe with you. never learned to

cry or laugh like he could.

i’m sure you’d love the man

who would.

he’s not gentle with

things. sure he laughs an’

cries an’ sings,

he loves deeper than i ever could

but he loves too fast an’

he loves too hard an’

every time he comes out

the world around me falls

apart.

so i put him away again.

an’ he goes without a fight,

ready to hide and recover

from the freshly familiar

broken heart.