I tried to be brave

I never stop cleaning,

I can’t stop thinking

I never stop doing

I can’t stop thinking

I am just running around like a rat in a maze

I can’t stop feeding my mind with garbage

I am just running,

Running

Can’t get away

I am trying to be brave

I just put on the brave face

I keep trying to be patient

I can’t hide anything from myself

I am drowning, have been drowning way too long

I keep getting revived

When I just want to die

I keep getting water stuck inside my throat

And swallowed and thrown up

I keep forgetting

I keep remembering

Why did you sink so deep into my heart?

How could you see me and leave?

I can’t forget

I keep thinking

I try to forget

I can’t believe I’m here

Stuck like this forever

And yes I damned myself

I deserve this pit

I deserve such a hell

I am always to be punished

I am always here, I can’t stop

Cleaning

To keep my eyes focused

Away from the moon

And away from dreaming

I just want to die

But I must continue to love,

And live,

Is everyone going to see the clean house,

And be able to read my look, deeper than the laughs and smiles?

I’ll be

Creating that brave face on a loop.