i survived you…

I have always known that fire could burn me.

As such, I have gone through life with a healthy fear of it,

even going so far as to avoid lighting my own cigarettes and pipes when I used to smoke.

I also know that fire can provide warmth.

Why do you think people love fireplaces in winter?

I thought you would be my fireplace,

keeping me warm when blankets no longer sufficed and the chill cut too deep.

I thought my waters would soothe and cool you when you overheated.

I thought I could be your favorite river to swim in,

calming and peaceful.

I was wrong.

So, so… wrong….

Your fire burned me,

leaving scars that I can’t cover with makeup or tattoos or even clothes.

You boiled my waters until they became vapors dancing around us in the kitchen.

And when the river turned into an ocean,

you told me I had become too deep for you to swim in anymore.

You stopped respecting my waters and started polluting them,

all the while telling me it was my fault.

You showed me that you wanted my heart,

but you stopped putting in the effort to protect it.

Now, I swim in my own waters,

knowing that this is where I breathe best.

I’m clearing the pollution so that I can see my crystalline clarity.

I’m tending to my burn scars, and even though I think they may look unappealing, I refuse to cover them.

Because I want the world to know I was burned,

…and I survived.