I am not a cutter
though I see the appeal
of driving a sharp object in or across
to let the pain and sadness flow freely
*
I am not an alcoholic
though I see the appeal
of drinking soo much that lightens everything
and allows me a break from my thoughts, fears, anxieties, and emotions
*
I am not a methhead, crackhead, or junkie
though I see the appeal
of taking those chemical hits
letting them course through me, then bliss
*
I am not a killer
though I see the appeal
of hunting down the truly awful of society
to pierce their flesh and let their wretchedness seep out
*
I am not the saviour
I am not even a good person often enough
When I go to sleep
Sometimes I wish I didn't wake up
*
Thanks for reading!
About the Creator
Paul Stewart
Award-Winning Writer, Poet, Scottish-Italian, Subversive.
The Accidental Poet - Poetry Collection out now!
Streams and Scratches in My Mind coming soon!
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Comments (12)
Good one! 👏😞 Also you are our new zen master! 😅 You can’t be writing shit like this! Of course you can as we all have darkness within! Hope u know I’m jesting. Love your work & hang in there. ☺️
I do, too, Paul. Not to dicker with Naomi (been there, done that), but I have known some very good people. Not perfect, not even in agreement with me on a whole lot of things, but very good. They're also the ones who would be most likely to object to that characterization.
I love the honesty of this, and yep, I see the appeal too. There’s no such thing as a good person, but a hallmark of a self aware and compassionate person is someone not claiming to be a good person. In fact, people who say they are a good person are a red flag for me, because in my experience those are the narcissists. I know you like to uplift everyone with your words, but I’m glad you published this. Some days we just don’t have it in us.
Really good. 👌
Sometimes the heaviness can feel like too much to hold, I see that. We all have struggles…that is the human-ness of us, after all. You are valued and more than a good person, Paul. Please refer back to my poem, Y O U 💫You are a vital note in the symphony of life, and the sound would be off if you were not resonating your unique and necessary vibration! 💞💫
What a beautiful poem. You are going to the doctors very soon. ☕👏
''I am not active on vocal though I see the appeal to read, comment and like all your posts selfishly, just to take some learning notes''
I will bitchslap you until you wake up! Don't go around saying those kinda things if you don't wanna feel my wrath! On a brighter note, yes I do find the idea of killing people very appealing 🍩🥐
I'm guessing this is the dark poem you alluded to earlier? If not, I shudder to imagine what's coming. Though perhaps ironically what I am left with is not a sense of darkness but of empathy. You are neither distancing yourself from "those people," nor joining them, but finding the common link of humanity. Yet -- that last verse does not extend the same compassion to yourself... Is it just me, or does this poem feel incomplete?
This felt honest and raw 💔 Which is a job well done. Knowing who we are not is important. Choosing who we want to be is more so (with compassion for who we *are* along the way) 😇🤍✨
Well, I think you're a good person. Well done, buddy.
So love repetition, however this was kinda sad. 😭