I performed at Oxford Di-Verse Poetry

I attended a poetry festival in Oxford that celebrates diversity and was a safe space for the LGBTQ umbrella which I thought was lovely. It was good to see so many voices in the same room. The poems I heard were excellent and it made me think how is my work going to compare to that. I did a lot of workshops with the Oxford Poetry Library and I think it's been a great thing that has supported the community. The founder, Phoebe started it as for a town with such literary importance as Oxford, the lack of accessible space for poetry was dire. It's such a lovely space and it's encouraged me to write things that helped me heal through traumatic events.

I used to try and hide such events, but through my work, I am not afraid to share what I been through and what goes on in my mind. I am better expressing myself through writing than speaking, but reading what I write helps that. I had delayed development and was reading before I could really talk so a teaching assistant got me into writing and that helped me in the long term.

I was worried that some of the poems I was gonna read might be too much, but it turned out to be just what they wanted. When we came in we were greeted with brunch with an array of pastries, fruits and beverages.

The organisers and volunteers did a fantastic job. They were all so helpful and encouraging. I saw Cesca, but she couldn't stay long, but she came over to wish me good luck.

i was performing on the Sunday and was there as part of the Oxford Poetry Library gang that were reading. Pretty much all the poems I read out were published on Vocal and in other books as well. The Oxford Poetry Library gang were given two slots. The morning one was a chill and fun vibe whilst the second one was more up to us. I chose to read lighter poems in the first slot and darker ones on the second slot.

They gave me such a wonderful introduction. They introduced me as an NHS worker and the clapping felt so surreal. I think there must have been at least 20-30 people in and out. What I thought was really nice was that they let us choose what poems to read and there was no set theme as such. It helped me bring something more authentic.

I first read this one. It's one of my fav poems that I have written and it got published in a writers magazine a few years ago. I slipped in fandom references in as well.

This and the other poem I wrote for Lonzo's poetry challenges for Halloween got published in my local writing group's anthology. The night before coming to the festival, I watched The Nightmare Before Christmas and it got me in the Halloween mood.



I did say the first slot was more chill and upbeat, but I always found Halloween to be quite chill and fun. I wrote this before some darker stuff happened to me this year.

The next one I read was Summer Snapshots which was published in a zine called Kill Your Darlings. I don't think I ever posted it on Vocal like I normally do as I can't find it here. I finished my slot with Preaching on a Red Tree.



I went to the record shop across the road from the collage and treated myself to some records. The second reading slot vegan at 2.30. I had four poems in mind to read, but because I was worried about going over my slot I only read out three. I almost didn't read Back When You Loved Me because of how raw and honest it was. I wasn't sure if the themes of abuse would have been too overwhelming, however, there was a mental health first aider and a quiet room if people needed it.

I dedicated the poem to an ex-lover. People can call it what they want. Sometimes I wonder what would happen if the person I wrote this about ended up reading it, but thankfully I will never know. When I read it I noticed my voice had changed. In the last reading sessions, my voice was light-hearted, but here I was talking deep. The voice that echoed from the microphone didn't match my normal tone.

After writing this poem, I found out someone I befriended through that person had also cut him off. She had opened up to me about her experiences and I just wanted to hug her. All the things she said inspired me to write another poem.

Sadly not everyone believed me at first, they assumed we were saying these things out of spite and to be self destructive but I disagree. I appreciated the fact she shared these experiences. It validated me as much as if validated her. When I read these I became free and the pains in my soul had vanished. These poems have been a big step forward for me.

This Cinnamon Spirit was the last poem I read, cause I wanted to end my readings on cheerful note. The applause felt amazing. I was overwhelmed by all the love and comfort I got. Sometimes writing can be lonely, but on that day I didn't feel alone. I also loved the wonderful tributes they made for the trans people no longer with us.