I Never Told You

I’ve felt a pattern in my life,

I forget and I’m reminded

Someone else’s first, sooner I liked you even more,

You changed from something I want, to a need, to a chore

Stressing from the sweat, I licked my wounds to abbreviate

My sensations went wild, you moved to collaborate

I think in some ways my shock and awe exited you

Something clicked and connected, and you felt that too;

A pyro-manic child, growing older by the sunset

Girl jaded wide, retained her baby teeth for paying debt,

Yet I was timeless, held cold mind while limbs shutter

And dumbstruck crush, left my ego soft as butter

Me then, a warning streaming letters on a page

I hardened inside, it added years to my age

But I flipped it, tranced you, broke free and excelled

I had you right in my palm, and under my spell

My down spout mind trickled head shots of power

While subconscious you saw told this dream was no flower,

You would question my acts and I couldn’t respond

Now you wanted someone else, through my insides and beyond

My troubled times cut the scars from your disease

Changing sides, you sparked disgust, but could bring me to my knees

And things went in this way til there was one in the game

My attempts growing limp, I had nothing to claim

A heart filled with dust is a suitcase of bones

Retained in my memories unchanged and alone