I'm twisted.

I’m twisted.

I’m the imposter,

The poster child of what it means to foster,

A character based on a mind so nuanced, the idea of new audaciously fails to exist,

even without the sun— stifled and siphoned

into the world of grey,

So shame and pride are cousins,

Stacked on a continuum of Smoke and mirrors,

So we the saved are nothing but glorified Sinners,

And so I struggle to make peace with the idea of forgiveness.

And so my faith plummets.

I’m twisted.

He said, “For we hope for what we do not see with patience”,

Yet the continuum of a nuanced mind perceives it all,

So I lose the sight of what it means to hope,

Because my mind tells me I’ve seen it all,

As if perception and actualisation are the same thing.

I said I’m twisted.

Because then, without understanding the point of hope,

I disdained what it means to be patient.

I chose to dance with the wind and tussle with the violent waters

in the waters,

Wondering How Far I’ll Go in understanding faith,

Now I’m the man without faith

Who wavereth like a wave of the sea,

A sea in a violent ocean of fiery demons who battle,

I said

I chose to be the devil’s advocate for the greater good

As the Wise thing to do,

To understand faith better.

Now I’m the devil himself in that bid,

Looking for She that the honourable said I would find, if I search for her like silver to reverse the curse.

Yet I can’t seem to find her and I’m holding in my palm thirty pieces of silver.

My double mind double crossed me.

Double state being,

I’m the neutron to my own decay.

A kiss on your cheek, and you too

will decay.

I said I’m twisted.

But through this I know

Shame and pride are cousins,

Stacked on a continuum of Smoke and mirrors,

So we the saved are nothing but glorified Sinners.

Because if I wasn’t ashamed of who I am,

I wouldn’t create a character that would

Try to understand everything,

At the expense of being shallow minded ironically.

Short-sighted and rigid.

I’m the imposter but

I won’t get this twisted even though

I am.

Yes, I’m twisted.

Yet Hope would say it doesn’t mean I’m wasted.