I'm So Sorry

Dear Little Red Riding Hood,

I hope this letter finds you in good health,

So I can express the remorse I’ve felt,

For causing you much anguish and distress,

And being a pain, a nuisance, a pest.

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I’m sorry for all the tears that you’ve shed,

And for your fear as I laid in grandma’s bed,

But I’m writing this letter to apologize,

And express my shame for that awful disguise.

*

I was wrong to think that I could prey,

On innocent souls that came my way,

For all the fear and pain I did impart,

I come to you with a heavy heart.

*

I know my actions caused great fear,

And undoubtedly made you shed a tear,

The past is dark and filled with dread,

Nobody can blame you for wanting me dead.

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But, no longer do I want to be feared by all,

Instead, I’m ready to heed a different call,

Please find it in your heart to forgive,

And let us start anew and learn to live.

*

For I am the Big Bad Wolf no more,

Put away the song, the stories, the lore,

I’ll always be a friend to you,

One who will protect, love, and be true.

Sincerely

Wolfie (The canine previously known as The Big Bad Wolf)

*

Dear Big Bad Wolf,

Buzz Off.

Sincerely,

Little Red Riding Hood

p.s. I want my grandmother’s panties back, you freaking pervert.