I hope you get exactly what you deserve.

In that moment,

I wanted you to die—

a horrible and horrific death,

drowned,

sinking

into deeper waters,

with a noose around your neck.

Because you thought killing me was best,

killing my innocence.

I still remember the purple dress

I wore that day,

feeling pretty,

and how you lured me,

how you wanted me to play with you.

But I only became a plaything to you.

Since then, you’ve roamed free

because I thought no one would believe me.

I grew up afraid of being hurt more,

fearing I would never be loved

because I was soiled

by your hands.

No one understands.

They think it was just a boy experimenting,

but you had twin sisters younger than me.

I wish to this day

that I’d spoken up,

and hadn’t been afraid.

Now I'm the one to blame

if anything happened to your sisters.

Will I ever be forgiven by them?

If only they knew

how cowardly I was

and still am.

I can only hope

that your little brother,

a friend to me,

who found us and intervened.

I still remember what he said:

“What the f- are you doing?”

Then you left me with the shame.

Maybe, just maybe,

he protected them

from the monster hiding underneath the bed.