I Didn’t Say That Out Loud...

I can't hold it in anymore

I feel as those I am about to blurt everything out

My inner most deepest feelings that tie me to my worst enemy...

My own self doubt

I know one day it will be the death of me

This Facade I once built

Shattered to the ground

A shield of Armour I once thought impenetrable

If I just let it all build up

Act as those it doesn't exist

I put on a mask each and every day trying to pretend that everything is alright

Showing my perseverance and determination with all my might

In my mind thoughts of everyone saying she's such a badass is there anything she can't do

My Independence and Strength only shining through

A girl who felt unloved, like many looked down upon

Striving to show her Intellect although it was not thriving but dying she had always felt

Struggling to make ends meet but not giving up or showing defeat

All while in the back of her mind she ached to find happiness and joy

Battling the thoughts of a deep dark depression with sinister thoughts of her own self destruction

Maybe one day if I just didn't wake up everyone else would be better off

Feeling burdensome as her capabilities began to diminish

Overtime what would become of me

My cognition, skills, identity, and agility all ripped away in one night

She wondered to herself who am I… as the woman she once was... was no longer in sight