I’d never be a good cop

I’d never be a good cop.

Daydreaming would distract me while the criminals got away.

I’d never be a good cop.

Memorizing lots of laws,

and I hate most things about guns.

I’d never be a good cop.

Giving people tickets and telling them not to do all the things that they want to do?

I’d never be a good cop.

I definitely don’t like donuts enough.

I’d never be a good cop.

The uniform just seems extra stifling.

I’d never be a good cop.

So why didn’t you just marry a cop in the first place and tell me to hit the road of other opportunities?