I am an alcoholic

I am shy by nature, born whispering

Deep cultures diluted religions, running through my veins

I screamed for a chance to break through

Reciting my rhymes seems like a trick I lost

But one that I keep in head is a story I tell

Memories run through breakfast,

Cold mornings, strange faces and then your face

That sympathetic ‘hi ‘of pity splashed for mine to follow

I walk in confidence by the way

Forgetting all that I’m running away from

The smile you see is a scream for help

To let you see the arrow that I deepen within me

This self-designed pain clinched on me I hope to crash

But my will is overtaken by memories of rejection

I am crazy by my own making, remade for shouting

That your laughter will hide the meaning of a joke I told

Why bury many more to the depressing island I own

I whisper crispy tales to those with the time to try

Singing softly that same song that only I hear

My time as a nymph will maybe see its grave

But until then allow me this character that I wear

Mimicking the joys that surround those without understanding

I sleep silently eyes opened so I won’t miss it

That glimpse of a smiling star telling me all is well

I’d like to believe that and let you in

Allow myself a chance to see hopes through

But my mending heart shuts the door to that possibility

I am troubled by circumstances, whispering again

Swallowed by the pain of the incision that you endured

In my attempt to stay away from this I dragged you too

I hear you screaming though you insist you lost your voice

My heart collects more than your lips let out

I pray that you see me and not what I have done

Then maybe you will realise that which I fail to point out

And be the prince charming that saves this call

But until then let me dance with my guilt

That which your eyes portray for all to see

Because now only three things define me

I am shy by nature, born whispering

I am crazy by my own making, remade for shouting

I am troubled by circumstances, whispering again