I Always Try

I always try.

Even when I know the ending might be the same,

Even when the silence after all my effort

Echoes louder than applause ever could.

I try to wake with purpose in my chest,

To stand tall though my soul feels bent,

To greet the world with a hopeful face,

While carrying storms no one can sense.

I try to smile, to laugh, to care,

To pretend I don’t feel hollow air.

To show up strong though I feel weak,

To speak with warmth when I can't speak.

I clean my wounds in quiet rooms,

Hide my tears behind perfume.

Put on the best clothes that I own—

But they can't cover how alone

I feel each time the sun comes up

And joy still doesn’t fill my cup.

I try to make my loved ones proud,

To be the light inside the crowd.

But being light when you're burnt out

Feels like a scream you can't let out.

I chase small joys like fireflies—

But every time I get too close,

They fade again into the night,

Leaving me in colder skies.

I give my heart, I give my time,

I pour out love like it's a rhyme

That might bring rhythm to my days—

But emptiness still finds its ways.

I give advice I wish I heard,

I comfort others with kind words.

But when it's me who's losing air,

I find there's no one truly there.

I try to pray, to close my eyes,

To ask the stars, to question why.

But heaven stays too far to hear,

And all I hold is doubt and fear.

I build from pieces that don’t fit,

I fake the light, pretend I'm lit.

I decorate my broken parts,

And call them strength or healing arts.

But truth be told—I ache, I do.

I miss a joy I never knew.

And every time I taste a smile,

It fades too fast, it lasts a while.

Still, I try…

Because what else is there to be

When quitting feels like losing me?

When sitting down means I might drown

In all the dreams that pulled me down?

I’ve danced through pain in quiet grace,

Held back the tears that kissed my face.

I’ve stood for others, played their guide,

While screaming loud from deep inside.

I try because I have no choice—

My silence is a desperate voice.

I try because I’m built that way—

To chase the sun through endless gray.

Even when it’s all too much,

I carry on with one last touch

Of hope that maybe this will change,

That maybe hurt can rearrange

Into a softer kind of peace,

A quiet calm, a long release.

Maybe someday the joy I give

Will find a way for me to live.

Not just survive or pass the day—

But feel the warmth that never stays.

Until that day, I’ll still show up.

Still pour more kindness in my cup.

Still try to dance, to dream, to heal,

To care, to love, to hurt, to feel.

Because that’s who I am deep inside:

A storm of light I cannot hide.

And even if I’m torn and tired,

My soul is fierce, my heart is wired

To rise, to burn, to not let go—

To fight for light the world won’t show.

So if you ask me why I try,

Why I still reach for distant sky…

It’s not because I’ve never cried—

It’s because I have,

And still I rise.

I always try.

Even when it hurts.

Even when no one sees.

BUT

The storm has passed, the night is through,

A softer sky begins to bloom—

And in the quiet, hope breaks through.