I Almost Texted You

I almost

asked

if you still

sleep

with the fan

on

even when it's

cold.

*

I almost

told

you about the

coffee shop

that still plays

your song

and how

I walked out

mid-order

because of

it.

*

I almost

typed,

“Do you remember

that night

by the lake?”

But

you probably

don’t.

Or do,

but differently.

*

I almost

apologized

for how I left,

for how I stayed

too long,

for how I loved

you.

*

I almost

said

that I’m happy

now.

That I’m dating

someone kind.

That they don’t know

how you still

show up

in the pauses

between my thoughts.

*

I almost

sent

a picture of the dog

we said we’d get.

I saw her

at the shelter.

Same crooked ear,

same eyes.

*

I almost

laughed.

Then, I

cried.

Then, I

deleted

the draft.

*

I almost

reached out

because I thought of you

smiling

in the sun

from some other life

where we got it

right.

*

I almost

needed you

to know I still

care.

But I

remembered:

you chose not

to ask

when I stopped

replying.

*

So, I put my phone

down and

let the silence

send

the messages I couldn’t.