I AIN’T HAVING NO BABY!

After years and years of being a grown-up and not knowing how to... do it.

You know, like... do it.

I decided it was time for me to... do it.

I told myself even God will understand because this was different I was gonna... do it... with somebody that I love.

Which was true.

If I was to describe how I felt for this lady,

I would forget the point of this poem and make her the center and that’s not even the point.

So let me just go on with the poem.

Now the plan was for us to go out then come back to my place together.

And I couldn’t contain myself,

My insides were all over the place,

As a matter fact at some point,

I am sure if you tried, you wouldn’t have located my pancreas.

(Okay, I don’t even know where it is right now. But you get the point.)

Now I have to let you know,

That I have always loved babies.

I adore babies!

And the way it works is..

I love other people’s babies!

Now this poem, is not about the hustle I went through, to get the thing from the chemist,

I’m just gonna go on with the poem.

That night when we met,

I remember seeing her from a distance,

And I can’t explain the feeling from my insides but I remember feeling for the first time,

Like somebody belonged to me,

Like she was mine, like, like that’s my girl, that’s my baby right there.

It’s like I said,

if I was to describe how I felt for this lady,

I would forget the point of this poem and make her the center and that’s not even the point,

so let me just go on with the poem.

When we got to the house,

I opened the door,

Switched the lights on,

And pretended like this was my house everyday... super neat, super clean...

But truth is,

That morning I had to wake up at 5am to clean the whole house! Everything!

The window, the door, the floor, the cups, the plates, the sink, the loo, everything you, can name I cleaned it.

The things she could make me do!

It’s like I keep saying,

If I was to describe how I felt for this lady,

I would forget the point of this poem and make her the center and that’s not even the point.

Let me just go on with the poem.

So we stayed up chatting and laughing until it was time to go to bed.

Now a part of me was scared.

Especially the part where it didn’t feel like it was something that I really wanted to do.

And even if I did, I didn’t know how to... do it!

But I told myself,

I have slept on a double decker before so surely,

I know how to get on top right?

Besides, for years with my boys, I was always the listener.

But this night was about to make me a storyteller.

And I was ready to tell it like my boys had never told a story before..

You know like how, it started with a text and I ended up using a woman’s body as my textile.

As a matter of fact, I had a playlist done.

Babyface was playing but she was about to face no baby.

And I might sound confident right now but she had the beauty that made my body stutter.

Her body was a flow of smooth skin and I had decided her skin was the only conversation on the table.

We went to my room,

I remember she sat on my bed,

Looked me in the eye then she asked,

Do you have protection?

I looked at her,

I said, yeah..

Then she said,

You don’t need it.

I said, what?

I ain’t having no baby!