Hungry Ghosts

I swam in the darkness, adrift on a sea that was merciless and cruel

Drowning in the currents of despair and longing, drowning in uncertainty

My understanding of humans was blinded by the untold lies, that floated before my eyes, like mysterious mirages, in an ocean of disbelief

Darkness enveloped my soul, as I was carried upon waves of distrust, into the misty waters of time

People had become nothing to me, but falsifiers of the truth, dark entities that fed off the souls of the lost

Like hungry ghosts, visions of the dead haunted me, tried to feed off my life force, until little was left of a spirit that was hammered by the anguished screams of tortured souls

Engulfed in darkness, I floated away into the night, the hungry mouth of the sea threatened to pull me into its terrible depths, but I hung on to what little remained of my life

Like a hot spark, hope burned bright within me, and that is what I focused on

My breath was laboured, as it fought to feed my body the essential elements of life that it desperately longed for

I wanted to let go, to allow the ocean to take me, to finally rest, to give up the battle that had raged around me since the moment of my birth

Born into destruction, into a darkness deeper than that of any night, I fought bravely, day after day

I stood up to the devil, like a warrior from another time, I fought demons and devils, murderers and thieves, keeping them at bay but never fully releasing myself from their grasp

I wanted to give up, but still life hung on, still my heart refused to stop beating, still the blood of life flowed through my veins, the spark of hope refused to die within me

So I hung on, struggling to survive, struggling against the vicious current of an angry sea, struggling against the evil that lies in the hearts of man

I hung on, for the sake of the few that cared, for those whose love kept my heart beating, who I knew would suffer if I allowed the dark waters of death to open it's mouth and consume my soul

I hung on knowing that God was by my side, that even in the darkness He walked with me, bringing peace and comfort to my soul

I hung on to life, allowing the spark of hope within me to grow, until it was a mighty fire, glowing bright within the fabric of my being

That is how I am alive, how I survive the tumultuous battering I endure from the endless tide of life

This is how the breath of life continues to fill my lungs, how my heart continues to beat in time with the rhythm and flow of my life

I hang on to hope even in the darkest night, I hang on to hope even as hungry ghosts scream for my blood and emotional vampires try to feed off my soul

I hang on to hope and from that I survive, each day, each moment, each breath, each heartbeat that carries me through this often terrifying yet strangely enlightening experience that we call life

Hope is how I survive, hope is what keeps me alive, without hope, I would give up and die