How To Stop Loving Someone

Begin by removing the obvious reminders.

Delete the messages, the pictures.

Pretend you don’t know their middle name

or how their mouth feels on your flesh.

Tell yourself this is progress.

Make a list of their flaws.

Notice how you let yourself forget the worst of them.

How what you remember now

feels almost charming, almost tender.

Do not check their social media.

If you do, don’t overthink. Don’t read into it.

If you do, forgive yourself quickly and quietly

and start over tomorrow.

Avoid places where their memory lingers—

the grocery aisle where you argued about cereal,

the city where you first locked eyes,

the month that celebrates their existence.

Next, rewrite your history.

Tell yourself it was never real, never deep.

Say you were only lonely.

Say whatever lets you sleep.

When this doesn’t work,

try new distractions.

Fill the hours with hobbies and noise, lots of noise—

friends, work, a body that isn’t theirs.

Declare it healing.

If nothing works, accept this:

love doesn’t let go all at once.

It loosens its grip little by little

until one day, you’re no longer holding on.