Hope & Faith

For the past seven months I have been trying to get away. Far away from my childhood memories. I am literally stuck in my hometown, or I feel that way. Its such a burden on my body that I don't know what to do. I just want to leave and start over. Searching for an opportunity in another state so that I can heal and get a piece of mind. I came back twice hoping things would be different and they are exactly the same. Walking around looking sad, who am I to blame. Cant even make my own decisions waiting for someone else to give me the green light.

As I've been through the darkest of the dark, I've picked myself up multiple times. Over and over again. I've skipped death twice and it took a long time for me to get to a place of happiness, to be disappointed all over again. Transforming over time and evolving to become the best version of myself. I long to move to the coldest state, with the river and lakes. With the sun shining bright and luminous are you kidding me.

Life, love, and peace it's all I strive for. I pray for money to fall out the sky. To run away to the quiet side. To hide away in a studio and write and color in true expression. To share my deepest desire through my creativity. Thank you God for giving me the gift of love. To free my body from stress and worry. Holding on to my baby girl just praying, because I just want to provide her with stability.

This job market doesn't provide stability. A check today and nothing tomorrow. How I'm going to feed my daughter. Thank You God for the resources provided, as a single mother all I want is to give her a house with a room drenched in Minnie Mouse. They say life isn't fair but I assume this is what comes with the territory. If I knew I could get on a train and be caught by a net for her safety so I wont regret the decision of the leap. I've done it twice and failed unsuccessfully.