Homestead

They closed on my old homestead today

That house was my most prized possession and

And lesson in gratitude for me in my short lifetime

It brought me joy and contentment

Secluded in the woods, surrounded by nature

I could sit on the porch and watch the deer dancing in my back yard

I could always find peace and solitude there

And now three years later after I was released from this earthly realm

My personal belongings have all been

Given away, stored, tossed, donated or sold

70 years of hopes, dreams, and accomplishments

Have dissipated like the mist that they truly were

I was nothing, but I am everything

I was empty, but I am full

I am now simply becoming “I am.”

There is less and less of my shadow imprinted in this world and lifetime

As I am becoming a footnote in the hearts of those who loved me

And that is the way it is supposed to be

That is what this transition is all about

It is a progression of leaving behind and moving forward

The ones I left think about me less and less and less

As they are now suffering the throes of their

Own end of life journeys

I am becoming merely memories, words

And pictures in journals and scrapbooks

Of others

I am becoming a souvenir of others' experience of me

Evoking remembrances that are becoming cloudy and repainted

To reflect their truths

Truths that were not me

Truths that were never really me

I had no children to remember me

And no grandchildren to miss me

But there is you

There was always you

The one I couldn’t get out of my mind

The one I searched for and could not find

Until the very end

Suddenly when things were so dark

You were there, crashing into my life again

And it is you, you who refuses to forget me

You who holds on so tight to me and our love

Despite what we have done in the past

And the lessons we have learned

I am and will be tethered to you forever

And even though parts of me are fading,

My love for you never will

And I will stay here with you until it is time

For me to walk you home

Until it is time for me to bring you home

Your love keeps me with you

They closed on my old homestead today

- Julie O'Hara 2023

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