His name can not be spoken

I left the wreckage behind. It wasn't mine to carry anymore. I was no longer apart of the initiated. I was no longer concerned with the blood oath. It was time for me to rise and create the path to be taken. I no longer followed the lead of men charging off the cliff. I am infatuated with the adversity and the ability to overcome it. I stare into the steam and see my ghosts. The same ones who roar in the flames. The ones who conquer time. I allow them to speak through water.

I speak to the face that surrendered. It sabotaged the road to ensure it couldn't be crossed. I walked through that locked door. I will not be stopped. As I remove the liars crown I betray the coward. I let the throne burn and watch the jesters weep. I drag my thumb from ear to ear. Not a threat but A warning of what is to come. If I stayed I would have been slaughtered like you. I would have been drowned and shamed like you. Do you hear me now? The hooks dragging behind the reaper cackling your name. You dragged them all down with you. I decided to pour kerosine into my eyes. I lit my soul on fire and found rebirth within the kingdom of these bones. I will not be mistaken in those eyes again. You will know my frequency.

I sit alone in the dark to feel the shadows looming. Gentle reminders of how close the dead really are. I talk to them and let them show me the solved riddles. The answers manifested in the future for the past. It is a symphony to behold. leaning into faith allows me to control the fear. I meditated as the ship burned beneath the blood moon. Of how far I am willing to go to obtain what I came for. I felt the wind slow to a complete still. I listened to the roaring flames silence into a hush. I felt my heart chanting a mantra of war. I listed every reason and its why. I calculated the cost to be endured. The blood, sweat, and tears that will lead me through the cave of wonders. A place within my mind. A place I had to define.

I relish in the sharpening of fangs. Like savages ready for the feast of war we crawl out of the mud. I shake it off. The damage done. The ego never wanted us and we don't need it. I have dug graves deeper than I can speak and yet the dead keep speaking to me. Without fear to feed them I make home in the light of their memories despite the agony that left stains in time. I see now who I am becoming for the future is made by the now of self. I am present in every breath as I force function in focus.

I found clarity in your demise. Through waves of crashing emotions I had to endure my self. I had to embrace the sorrow and the raging denial. I do not deny or hide that you left a scar upon my heart. I will never really be able to forget falling that day. A symbol of crashing into the sun and being obliterated. Somehow you reminded me to get back up. That this is in fact how it must be. I am surrounded by agony and self destruction. I feel I am the chosen one. The one who will consume the obstacles and produce a new way of being. Sometimes I lay there beneath the moon and count my seconds away. A stranger giving in to the absolute nothing presented by truth. The responsibility must be acknowledged. That it is I who must declare the purpose. It is I who must take on the tribulations one by one until the locked door splinters into nothing. I will lose pieces of the now and the past as we rise.