Her Past Scars

She don't expect anyone to understand

The demons she been fighting

She just trying to get thru another day

Because giving up ain't a option

She don't want to be a burden

She ain't asking for y'all sympathy

All she ask for y'all patience

With this fragile heart

Cuz it still break inside silently

It took her a long time

To come to this acceptance

Because of the choices she made

Is why she lost custody of her children

Y'all forget she still human

Waking up every day without her team

Is her hardest reality she living with

She knows she did it to herself

She brought her own hell

Their ain't no excuse

This was the hand she was dealt

It's been the hardest fight of her life

Where do you find forgiveness in oneself?

For so long she blamed God and her family

Refuse to take accountability

For her mistakes she made

Running from a past She couldn't face

So she took that hit to ease her pain

It took losing everything she love

To letting her addiction win

Struggling homeless broken in the street

To find her strength within

So she could build herself back up again

It's been her hardest fight

With her heart and soul

Today her oldest son Turned 11yr old

His second without his mother

Damn she missing out on everything

All their birthday and holidays

Do to her selfish needs

They never asked for this

It ain't fair to her children

Growing up way too fast

Because of her they hurting

It breaks her heart to even fathom

What they going thru inside

In the back of her mind

She feels where the pain resides

She sees her daughter smile

Hear her son's laughter

Crying out to the Lord where do I pick up the pieces of what's left and start over?

To my children

Mommas 4 heart beats

I love you guys so much

With everything inside of me

I pray y'all remember this

This was never your guys fault

Mommy is still healing

From a painful past

She ran from long ago

She finally sitting in her feelings

At war with her demons

Ocean of tears filled her eyes

She hugged the Lil girl within

For the first time

Promised her from here on out

Everything would be alright

She whispered time to forgive Daddy

Do it for yourself set the pain free

I know it hurts something u never deserved

It's your time to shine and live your dreams

You got this My beautiful brave queen

Stop fighting for their acceptance

You will never get from them

If they can't see your worth

Darling they ain't your friend

They were part of your journey

To a much bigger plan

I know you felt your heart

Break more than a couple times

Betrayed by the ones

You never thought would leave your side

They were brought in your life

To teach you different lessons

I know you hurting

But it was part of their mission

For your healing

To open your heart and soul

Show you how to let go

And stand on your own

They put you thru everything

That was meant to break you inside

But you fought your way back up

Especially thru your darkest times

You held it together

When most people would break

You may loss a couple fights

But the war ain't over yet

I know your constantly contemplating

Every choice you made in life

Ashamed disappointed with regrets

Daily battle It never fails every time

Darling Stop beating yourself up

We're human we make mistakes

No one can judge your past

Until they have felt your pain

Time to leave it all behind

Don't let it Define who you are

You are the creator of your future

With a beautiful story behind the scars

It took her a moment to realize

As She look back for the last time

Cried out too the Lord I surrender

I need you more than ever by my side

She finally found a strength within

And Fought her way back up

She ain't the same girl

You met 5 years ago

Lord knows this how was supposed to be

She had to learn this on her own

For the first time she felt at peace

When she set the painful past free

As she smiled and hugged the Lil girl

She forgave her for everything she used to be

You know that beautiful broken Lil girl

That Lil girl was Me