Her Name is Sabine*
Mode Change in Me

From: “News from Paradise”
*
refrigerator buzzing through noise
of all busy holiday time
sweets served simultaneously
with the conversations intertwined slowly
with another version of life
on the other side of the line
echoes of the past appearing in the present
when there is no time for it now
disruption on the way
it can’t help us
coming back like a boomerang
to the place where we started
even if it feels like a million miles away
when I leap back in time
through all the things I can find
that shaped me today
slowly fading away
in the darkness of the trained state
never frank, always fretful
never calm, only combating
this little enemy inside of me
revealing its unpopular views on things
causing me to distance myself
from the other side of the world
not exactly on my way
still dealing with it with dignity
as if it were all mine
shame that it was someone else’s dream
***
*I named my poem after the 2007 documentary by French actress, film director, and screenwriter Sandrine Bonnaire, in which she portrays her autistic sister Sabine. Sandrine was one of the muses of Agnès Varda (30 May 1928 – 29 March 2019), one of the most influential directors of the French New Wave film movement of the 1950s and 1960s. I have a chance to encounter Agnès’ work for the first time during one of the New Horizons Film Festivals in Poland and since then her movies and documentaries have stuck to me. The image I used to illustrate my poem is very autobiographical because as a teenager I had a similar pink swimsuit and although I hated it, now that I look back, it somehow fits in with the also disabled Sabine who wears the same costume in this movie as well.
***
originally published at https://medium.com
***
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About the Creator
Moon Desert
UK-based
BA in Cultural Studies
Crime Fiction: Love
Poetry: Friend
Psychology: Salvation
Where the wild roses grow full of words...
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insight
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters


Comments (8)
This poem is a contemplative and introspective piece that explores the complexities of memory and the inner struggles we face in life. The juxtaposition of the holiday season with echoes of the past appearing in the present creates a sense of dissonance and disruption that reflects the speaker's internal conflict. The use of sensory details, such as the buzzing of the refrigerator and the sweetness of the holiday treats, grounds the poem in a specific time and place while also conveying a sense of nostalgia and longing. The repetition of phrases like "never calm, only combating" and "this little enemy inside of me" adds a rhythmic quality to the poem and reinforces the speaker's feelings of struggle and unrest. The final lines, with the realization that the dream was someone else's, adds a layer of complexity to the piece and suggest a deeper reflection on the role of personal responsibility in our lives. Overall, this is a thought-provoking and introspective poem that invites the reader to reflect on their own experiences and memories. I would love to hear more from this talented poet.
Wow this nice it make sense
A great read and I enjoyed the backstory, too. Congratulations on your Top Story!
Loved the echoing nature of this poem, and appreciated the background you gave. Well done.
❤️😉Congratulations on your Top Story❗
love it
Loved the way you emphasised with italics. Congratulations on your Top Story
I could sit with this & ruminate over it for a very long time. Something wistful, unexpected, hide or be rejected, ultimately something we can't even own, all at the same time.