HELP, ECHOING

A Saffron sun rising

Egyptian-blue sky peeking through

A beautiful morning must be coming soon

Swirling energy dancing off my body

I’m starting to feel the weight swaying off

I now see my new door,

It leads to an empty room

One where there are empty shelves to grow my flowers

A lonely bookshelf in the corner, opened for new experiences and memories

A window that brightens up my space

The light is at once flowing under my feet

Shining over a new road

And although, my memories lay suppressed

Images surface now and then

Tainting my dreams and forcing me to see my life as a scene

There was nothing anyone could have done

My fate was sealed before the moment I was conceived

The right people failed me, their blindfolds?

Still on

I still see him, gently disruptive

Making me believe it was right, blinding me of my own scars

Crushing my brain and reshaping my thoughts

He was so hungry

He was so thirsty

He slurped on my blood while he leaked in my throat

Choking me

Intoxicating me

And like nothing ever happened, I would arrive back home

With my hands tied and a fake smile to hide my broken mind

Time after time

Nightmare after nightmare

I drifted apart, further and further from myself

From the truth

I’m finally awake after two decades

Life harder than ever before because all over there’s dried up blood

Is this my mess to undertake?

As a child I remember thinking: “Should I stay or should I just crawl through?”

Without giving it a second thought, I peeked out of my subconscious

There it was,

A tree

A dead tree, hanging, a rope that seems to be ready for me

A lake,

A black lake, vial and begrimed

A sky,

An angry sky, portraying my state of mind and what I wanted to leave behind

It’s thunder and red lights

Expanding my sight to what’s nearby

A mountain

I see a bright light flickering at its top peak, a door

Fearing what may come ahead as I climb my way

Nonetheless, there I had no plans to stay

Fear began to rise, adrenaline sparking up my veins

I took the risk and stepped out the door

I run

His laughter echoes

The ground begins to start cracking

Lights in the sky, dimming darker

I lose sight of the harrier

My heart becomes heavier

My path turns to a thin line “Stay standing”

Steadier

Steadier

I say to myself:

“Do not lose your balance through the line,

The knife he holds is fine”

It swings and swings

In front and behind

Cutting me as I walk

Tearing my being

I cry gold, it burns my veins

It gashes

Splashes

It stains

Seeing it drip off me makes him hungry

He traces the smell, I am left to run

A cry for help, echoing

I was just a child

A newfound angel, yet life was blue

Being born not knowing my innocence was at stake

A malevolent shadow standing upon me

I see him watching me grow, touching my hair while he moans

Leading me out of my home

Down a very leaden road

Blacking out my mind

Leaving me in a place confined

The feeling arose,

Noises became lauder and lauder

His laughs

His is a twisted nature

Ripping flesh for pleasure

Torture stars mellowing

The devil’s always a successor

His growl, you will never neglect it

Poisons you and makes you believe you crave it

In the end,

It knows no time and patiently baits

In your sleep he floats over your head

Smelling the fear scenting off your bed

He bites his tongue and grins

With one hand he serves you milk and dreams

With another he grazes your back with his claws

He grins

He grins

He wins

My first-time bleeding was dire

I froze, I could not feel pain

Yet, there It was, dripping

Time after time

Throughout the years

He used his strength

Twisting and breaking me

No other use but to be his pleasurable servant

He held every right to my body

Allowing me no freedom

Misguiding,

Deceiving,

My brain could not battle against him I fell through the vail and stayed there

I hid I hid I hid

My black tears falling through

Filling up the room

Choking and burning me

I could not think,

I could not speak,

I could not scream

In the real world I was only walking

Only a sleepless and tired body

Silently begging everyone around for help

They stared smiling, leaving me foggy

My eyes began to open slowly

A single dry tear was all that was left

My body scrapped from being dragged down the mountain

All the way at the bottom, there he stood nude

Ripped my clothes off and ripped my flesh through

No reaction from me, pain became my best friend

Deeper In my conscience I stayed

Avoiding

Ignoring

Afraid

Being told life is a masquerade

If that’s true, life Is filled with monsters

And I was their prey, I felt decayed

Years and years and I’m still not healed

This story will be my legacy

This story will be my justice

My enemies

My demons

Hell

Will all know the wrath of my fears

While my soul left to not feel the pain, I visited a place

Where darkness lives,

Where it fades

There I made a friend

A bigger creature

Whom handed me a dream

They asked me to live It

With all my force

With all my love

Now, I’m happier most days

I can dance and I can sing

And someday soon the world will remember me as king

On top of my shelf, I placed a pot

Sprinkled some seeds

Sprinkled some water

The sun shines on my peony’s

Reflecting on my face

Portraying my state of grace.