Hell In Relationship

i’m not happy, i am hurt

my heart is no longer full anymore

it has been punctured and stepped all over

those females never loved me

they don’t love me

i’m not strong, only getting weaker as time goes on

how much longer can i keep holdin on

my depression doesn’t make anything better

waking up every morning feeling like trash

my post traumatic stress disorder must be getting to me

i’m not lovable, i am undesirable

how many times am i gonna keep shooting myself in the foot

just to impress females who don’t give a shit about the effort i’m putting up for them

trying to get a girl who already passed you off in her mind

yet you still try after five or six years

high school is done bro

leave that girl alone

you not getting her now

i’m done tryin

just gonna be alone forever

i don’t choose to be lonely, i just am

i can’t help how i feel

at least i’m being productive

these past couple years of my life done left me a shell of myself

i haven’t been tending my wounds lately

they’ve been growing

i’m not aggressive, i just seen a lot

i dealt with inferiority throughout my entire life

despite all these accomplishments

i still glorify my insecurities rather than my successes

maybe i’m looking for someone to help me heal because i don’t know if i can do it all on my own anymore

i may try to act all tough through the poems and deny that i’m having any emotional friction

i’m fucking lying

i want someone amazing to walk into my life

i want someone who will change how i feel about the opposite sex

i want someone who can help me be the best version of me

i just wanna be around someone who understands me

nobody does

that’s why i am always alone

i’m misunderstood

i still feel like that insecure little boy that i’ve been since 2005

i need saving before i do the duties to myself

you know what i mean by that don’t you