Headspace

I'm afraid of my head

She tends to drift

Not to calm waters

With the sun just in our view

Peaking over the horizon

The sky such a bright blue

No

She climbs on an unstable bamboo raft

Tied together by the thinnest of threads

And sets sail

Into the dark waters that have swallowed the brightness of the sun

And spun webs of thunderous lightning through an array of purples and grays

Through the darkest blacks painted in the sky

Her brave face is a farce

With every strike of lightning

You can spot me behind her

Begging her not to wander

But she won't listen she keeps resisting

Even though

we both know what's coming next

For this isn't our first time here

These waters hold our darkest moments

A ringtone sounds

My heart pauses and my ears pop

The water reflects

And I see myself

Phone pressed to my head

Eyes too wide

From the pain in my mother's voice when she says

"His heart stopped"