Happiness and Joy

Happiness and joy, the two days in my entire life that brought me sheer bliss. Was the two days I gave birth to my baby boys!

I remember finding out I was pregnant with my first son. It was a bit of a shock but was the day our family begun.

The excitement and anticipation grew while underway. Looking forward to that one special day.

The day came and went when I was due. Two days later that was it I finally knew.

My son was ready to greet this world.

I told his dad he probably shouldn't go to work. It was a hour and a half drive there and then back.

Nonetheless he decided to go. A few hours later the labor pains progressed and were not slow.

Calls were made, and family came. There were so many people coming in and out of the room. I should have charged admission.

But once in labor there is no turning back and no intermission. My son was determined to arrive.

After they placed my son in my arms it was like my heart for the very first time came alive.

It wasn't long after that I found out I was expecting.

Of course, I should have figured it could happen. Since me and their father had been reconnecting.

Now I knew what to expect. My due date was fast approaching but I wasn't quite ready yet.

My mom and I were walking at the mall when labor pains started. I can clearly recall.

So I immediately stated I wanted to go. We went back home, and three days had passed. There was no stopping him the labor came on fast.

It felt like it took longer than with my first son, and believe me this part was not so fun.

But hours later with my mom and sister in the room. It was finally happening he was ready to leave my womb.

To hold my brand-new baby boy. It's one of my happiest days that truly brought me joy!

The years have come and gone, and now my babies are grown. But the days they entered into my life has been forever kept in my heart.

I will love them until the day I die. The same love I've always had for them right from the start.

Yes, life has not always been easy. The teenage years are the worst by far. It was a bit nerve racking trying to teach them both how to drive a car.

We are such a close family we have seen each other’s flaws. Our good and our bad days, and what has caused us scars.

It was hard on them to grow up without a father. But I hope when they look back, they feel that I was a good mother.

I have always tried to place their needs before my own. I fear the day they finally move out, and I will be all alone.

This year I've found my world turned upside down. Trying to rediscover who I once was.

My entire identity was being a mother.

Now I try to find new hobbies, and search for my life's purpose and cause.

I am glad that we get to celebrate birthdays once a year. It reminds me of those two special days as I'm filled with good cheer.

No matter how old your kids are they will always be your babies. The worries and fears never seem to disappear.

I believe that may be relieved when they begin to start their own families. I know it would be different if I had girls.

But boys grow up to be men that's what often occurs. For now, I continue to enjoy what time we have left.

My happiness and joy continues with each and every day. I feel truly blessed!