Hairy Scary
AKA “For $400 a month, you too can have a thick head of hair!” Call us on 5555,5,5555
Quick note: a bit of a vent turned into a nutty stream.. 😳
***
🧔🏻
You see..
Each strand use to mingle and tingle
Atop my crown, and
Celebrate each other like a boys’ club,
Continually patting each other on the back, yet now
Losing my hair -
I don’t think it’s fair,
Shedding my thick locks,
They go down the shower’s drain,
Never to be seen again,
“I’ll miss you my little friends”.
Once luscious, strong and long -
No one will sing my once joyous, hairy song, instead
Kids will sing, “Bald head, Bald head!” and
God will smite them - and
I will burn an altar at their ashes,
Chant & throw in a little wizard-craft to regrow those ‘babies’ again!
Maple leaf, rosemary oil, honey, mint and some of those kids’ ashes!
BOOM! 🔥
Might help me make some new friends,
With a full thick head of hair!
It worked, just like, magic!
Advertising lies,
I love French fries (with mayo)
There is no ‘Can’t Do!’
Only check out my ‘New Do!’
I got it on the street
For three quid,
Magical Spells are where it’s at,
Thank you guy who looked like Dumbledore!
(He really had some good hair, right?).
Ain’t no lid gonna contain these strands now,
I’m Samson, stronger than any Lion,
I am almighty strong and
*“whip my hair back and forth”, ALRIGHTY -
Yeah!
My power lies upon the top of my head,
Until I lose my hair again & appear like a little baby girl,
Who has lost their head of lovely curls, yet
With requisite facial hair -
The beard remains in tact -
Why!?
***
* From “Whip my Hair” by Willow Smith
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About the Creator
Grz Colm
Film and TV reviews, 🎞 as well as short stories and free verse poems.
Reader insights
Outstanding
Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!
Top insights
Compelling and original writing
Creative use of language & vocab
Heartfelt and relatable
The story invoked strong personal emotions
Excellent storytelling
Original narrative & well developed characters
Masterful proofreading
Zero grammar & spelling mistakes
On-point and relevant
Writing reflected the title & theme
Expert insights and opinions
Arguments were carefully researched and presented
Easy to read and follow
Well-structured & engaging content
Let's Don't Do This
"I just can't do this anymore..." "Do what?" What can't you do? Put gas in your own car? I swear to God you make me take care of everything, don't you? You know I'm on my way to work right now but that never stops you from bothering me, does it?"
By Shirley Belk4 days ago in Fiction
Comments (25)
Hahaha Grz! I loved the journey this took me on!
This made me smile, Grz!! Nicely done and congrats on Top Story!!
Haha. That was great. Congrats on the TS.
This was absolutely hysterical. Congratulations on your top story!👏
Love it! Hilarious! I especially liked: “I’m Samson, stronger than any Lion, I am almighty strong and *“whip my hair back and forth”, ALRIGHTY - Yeah!” It’s weird how sometimes hair can be so thing on top & thick on the chin! Shaved heads are almost more common these days than those with hair. You’re in the height of fashion & the majority… maybe!🤔
Such a great read, as always. Funny and truthful and relatable.
Thanks for the laugh, Grz <3 Congrats on the TS, also <3
Ha! Ha! Grz, you never cease to amaze me. Thank you for the humor… and congratulations on the Top Story!
Thoroughly entertained. Congrats on top story!
Congratulations on your top story!❤️
Less hair? More hat wearing opportunities! This made me laugh but also thoughtful. The hormonal changes that progressing through life brings are bemusing, eh? Grz, I'm going to come to your rescue and make a toupee from the hairs on my chin. A win/win, don't you think? 😆
Not only did you have an eye catching title. But 5's — all of them together? That's a satisfying subtile if you ask me. The picture. Oh the picture. Lol. It's cute and funny. Why is it cute and funny 😍🤩😍 A nut. Oh wait no. It says nutty. NUTTY okay. We are back on track. Your strands mingle like a boys club. This is an idea I've never read before. That is making me really like where this is going. Oh no. hair loss. It's not. It's not fair at all. We prefer that they mingle and tingle. Lol. I can imagine you talking to those hair strands going down the drain and I cannot contain myself 🤣. I sympathise. But this is funny. I went bald once. Thats our little secret. Don't tell anyone. I was going through a lot. It took forever to grow back and I felt... Well... Yeah... Burn an altar. Wow. That...it took a turn. It did. The ingredients too. You're generous. The ashes again. Well. It's Halloween soon, so what the heck. The ashes too. LOVE the Samson reference. Threw in some willow Smith lol. Congratulations on your top story 🤗❤️🎉🎉🎉
This piece is hilarious, playful, and surprisingly heartfelt all at once. I love how it swings between lament and absurdity—one moment grieving the “little friends” going down the drain, the next summoning wizard spells with rosemary oil and kids’ ashes. The mix of myth (Samson), pop culture (Willow Smith), and pure silliness makes the humor sharp but still relatable. It captures that strange balance between vanity, insecurity, and joy in self-expression—while reminding us that hair, whether gained, lost, or magically summoned, is never just hair.
Back to say congratulations on your Top Story! 🎉💖🎊🎉💖🎊
Congratulations on getting another Top Story!
Well-wrought! Samson aside, the Romans cut their hair short to bar the enemy another handhold in battle, so maybe it's no all that important. But whatta I know? I've neither sense nor care for fashion, though it is true, I've a lot of hair (not all on my head)!
What a great way of expressing the idea of growing older and acceptance of the fact. Who would pay $400 for regrowth? Just accept who you are and be happy. Good job in all ways.
Considering my profile pic, I can def say this is relatable, haha. And the thought of spending 400 bucks a month toward the cause has come and gone. Great work on the poem. It flows nicely and gave me a chuckle. “I’ll miss you my little friends” lol.
Done in true Grz style...embrace the bald, it is en vogue. Great to see you scribbling again.
Lots of bald headed handsome guys are aboot these days...Methinks u be overthiking it much. But hey, the poem is rich with jokes a'plenty for hair, I don't see much from you these days. FB I guess, u be busy.
A beard comb over? I remember my niece commenting on the bird nest he had growing in his nose…..not sure why other follicles shut down and others thrive with age. I’m with Tiffany, Bruce is a fine example of positive baldness. Embrace the mayo fries
Aww hair loss sucks! Mgk & Torey Lanes had hair replacement surgery and it really looks good on them. Grizzle for Shizzle will still have fans whether he has locks or not! Bald heads can be nice. Bruce Willis was always handsome bald! This piece was clever and wonderfully crafted! ☺️
That was great fun, excellent poetry
Did not expect to see French fries in a poem about hair, hahahahahahahaha! Yayyyy G is here, let's start the partyyyy! Hair fall, a problem that affects everyone, ugh! My friend did hair transplant surgery and his hair is better now
I LOVE how this escalated. Could virtually see the moment the rage kicked in ;)