Girlfriend, or Victim?

These are the words to his deeds,

not yet traveled along my vocal cords,

but driven down a country road to a secret lookout spot.

Carried across town to me in the pockets of my forgotten jacket. A display of care and affection. An excuse to see me, he noted.

A melody of all of his favourite things about me and his professed fortune in being with me.

Honeymoon. Love Bombing.

Groggy conversation over breakfast about the more mundane things in each of our lives, but that we still found interesting about each other.

A stop at a gas station. Uneventful, simply a shared experience in each other's presence.

Calm.

A request to help with home decor in a home he doesn't live in. Required maintenance in his own home. Hard on the wallet and the calendar.

A surprise call into his job.

Tension.

Accusations of pressure, of a timeline not created by me.

Scapegoating.

A reiteration of my boundaries. A conversation he then denies we ever had.

Gaslighting.

Downplaying of both the importance and the legitimacy of my boundaries.

Minimizing. Dismissal.

A reminder, he states, that the qualities that attracted me to him, should make me accept his behaviour.

Words I've spoken, kind words, twisted to mean something else and weaponized against me.

Manipulation.

Sharing details of activities I've done, met with at best a silent eye roll and at worst, expression of...resentment.

Emotional abuse? No, it can't be - I'm his girlfriend.

Return to Step 1. Repeat.