Frosty Doggerel
It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like...
(Bing Crosby for reference...)
It’s beginning to look a lot like fuck this,
Everywhere it snows…
The water has turned to ice,
It doesn’t feel very nice—
It really blows!
***** * *****
Jack O Lantern gave way
To rot and decay,
Pumpkins pestered
By squirrels
Searching for a last meal
Before the frost sets in
And the Winter begins.
I know my Christmas parody
Is just frosty doggerel
But when the cold bites,
Gnawing to the bone,
I try to inject some levity
Into my workaday foray.
Otherwise, I’d despair
Because I really don’t care
To buy more shit—
To wade through shit—
To waste time on shit
I don’t really need.
I work not to gorge
At the consumer trough
In this façade
Of a winter wonderland
But to preserve the warm space
Where the pumpkins are carved
And the meals cooked,
Where the covers cocoon
The dreamer before
The cold light
Of a winter dawn
Interrupts blissful reminiscences
Or the thrill of a good nightmare
Just to subject us
To another day
Of senseless drudgery.
It's not so much that I hate winter...
I just feel better when I stay home!
***** * *****
Rommentary:
So... this is Christmas...
About the Creator
C. Rommial Butler
C. Rommial Butler is a writer, musician and philosopher from Indianapolis, IN. His works can be found online through multiple streaming services and booksellers.
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Comments (16)
ROTFL, Charles!! I love Bing, though he can be a bit saccharine. Have a great lead-in to the day, though, frosty or not!
I love it! lol Go CRB!
I’m with you, Rommi, screw winter and the holiday consumptionthon. This was a fun reminder of what truly matters.
Haha, this was great! I was singing the same song in the morning, with my own words. I opened the window and everything was white (and I work outdoors, and wasn't expecting this at ALL). I would feel better if I would just stay at home, too.
I truly laughed aloud when I read this. The steady pulse of life's motion moves without a pause, while we flit about and burden ourselves with should, would, and could... All the while the squirrels eat the pumpkins and the world shrouds itself in white. How I wish we could set aside the nonsense and just be cozy with those who bring us quiet comfort and joy!
This was hilarious!
YES! To you and everything about this fanfabulous piece. No crunch no munch. I have locked myself away into such a world that I manage to escape the drumfuckery of holiday pressure. I adore snow but live on the west coast of Sweden where it rains everyday and we go weeks with no sunlight. You know I'm your fan forever!
My solution to everything is to stay at home and sleep, lol. Loved this!
That contrast, I feel so welcomed into the warm ease after the drag of work it takes just to BE out of the home in winter.
Yes, you are allowed to feel this way for we are all human, but really, I like the frosty and snowy mornings. Sled riding, ice skating and building snowmen and snowball fights. I am a winter person, but nothing against the other seasons. Good work.
You successfully captured that real, raw feeling when the weather turns miserable and the holiday pressure starts creeping in! Since we have only one little one in the family now. It's easy for us to not fall into that holiday pressure. As far as the cold goes, I just want to hibernate.
Geez Scrooge, just cause we too old for fun. though I agree. Tis the youths who still need to see hope in crap. Really enjoy the sideways argument. And bah humbug to you too. 😂
Haha. Well done, Rommi. Love the parody. As for the commentary, yeah I hear ya.
That was some very wintry fun and I know what you mean
I had a laugh with this...but hang in there Charles, it'll be warm soon enough!
Haha, this gave me such a good laugh! The parody opening hooked me straight away. Great work.