For You

Misunderstood; attempting to heal and grow.

Desire... Need for...

A safe place to let down walls to freely give and receive Love,

Honesty, Loyalty, and Refuge.

To be loved for oneself not potential.

It was only now in this moment making this list that

I understand what I describe has always been me

Rather it was ever them on any level

These are my needs which I projected onto them

Rather it was ever them on any level

My illusions, delusions and projections

Destroyed us from the start

And so,

I forgive them

I forgive you

I had no idea the maze-like prison

I created for you

No idea how incredibly

Lonely and impossible it must have felt

How many times you must've looked into my eyes

And known I didn't see you

How painful it must've been

To hear "I love you" and it feel so very far from true

How much more painful

To hear "I hate you" and it have been the only thing

I ever said to you that made any sense

Does it makes sense then to know

It is myself whom I hate, not you

You who are not invisible,

Not insignificant...Not unlovable

Forgive me, not for me but for you

You whom I will always regret having not known