For the Needs of the Business

‼️‼️‼️

Notice, all employees!

‼️‼️‼️

It has come to our attention

that the administration of the department

has experienced gross neglect

and been, overall, disorderly.

.

A disturbing discovery was made:

some of those

who’ve been made redundant have stayed—

still occupying some distant,

vacant gyri,

using resources

meant for those

who actively contribute

to the success of the establishment.

.

Furthermore,

an alarming number of memories

have been failing

to fulfill their basic duties,

taking time off

when urgently needed,

or demanded work

when given fewer shifts.

‼️

This has turned out to be a significant operational risk,

and has—on more than one occasion—

resulted in dire embarrassment,

caused severe inconvenience,

and general dissatisfaction

for the Director.

‼️

Hereby,

the management

has made an executive decision:

first and foremost,

for the needs of the business,

but, of course,

for the well-being and safety

of all employees

in all the departments,

whom they consider family.

.

Therefore,

all active members of Memory Department

must visit the offices

to confirm their continued necessity.

.

The lyrics to random songs,

cringey moments from 2008,

instances the Muscle Movement Department

has failed to be graceful

are due a meeting at your earliest convenience.

.

Managers are actively trying

to contact the reasons the Director has entered a room,

shopping lists,

wallet and key placements,

passwords,

turning off electrical gadgets,

and locking the front door.

‼️

If you are one of the last-listed employees,

reading this announcement,

you are expected to show up immediately.

‼️

If the necessity evaluation results are positive,

you’ll sign the contract extension,

to gain access to the pension

and the renewed entry system

for all shared spaces.

.

Thank you for your understanding

and anticipated cooperation,

Mr. Brain,

the executive manager of the Memory Department. 🧠

.

For an extra dose of motivation!

Once the procedure is complete,

a pizza party awaits – the Director’s treat! 🎉