For Daisy

“My Little Sweetheart”, I have always called you.

“The Best Dog in the World” is another title you earned,

Followed by “the best dog who ever was, is, or has yet to be…”

And you certainly were.

I told you it was a common household fact that everyone knew you were a good dog,

To just ask anyone on the street and they would tell you so.

That’s a pretty good dog.

You were the center of my life and my joy for ten years.

You danced and played with me in times of joy,

And you endured beside me during periods of trial and sadness.

Your tail was a force to be reckoned with,

A destroyer of things on the coffee table,

Wagging so hard when you were happy or excited

That I sometimes wondered if a tail could wag off.

And then there was your poker face

With those huge beautiful brown eyes staring holes through me when you wanted something,

And the way you muzzled my hand back to your ears when I had stopped scratching them.

You were the Queen of Sideye, and Mistress of Making Me Feel Bad

When I wouldn’t give you any of my dinner.

But you always got the last pancake on Sunday morning,

Most of the time with your very own egg on top,

Which you devoured in less than 60 seconds, snorting like a piglet the whole time.

The red squeaky ball was your favorite toy,

Followed by the tennis ball,

And, when your teeth were stronger, one of the big Nylabones.

You left hair everywhere, especially in the Spring and Fall,

And I finally gave into it and let my OCD focus on other things for awhile.

You would walk with me for hours and hours,

Like a “little locomotive” I always said.

Down Oakland Avenue, and back again by way of Clayton, then Tamm.

Or across Highway 40

And by the zoo into Forest Park,

Over to the Jewel Box, and around to Steinberg Rink,

Across the Victorian Footbridge and by Murphy Lake.

Down Government Hill

And over to the Grand Basin, which was our favorite.

We often stopped there and rested on the granite to take in the view,

You posed like the Sphinx, head up, legs out in front, haunches down in back,

Except your tongue was hanging out.

And you had the biggest tongue in the world.

It was truly amazing how large.

You stole my heart the first moment I saw you.

Your name was Ginger back then.

But that wouldn’t do, so I named you Daisy.

And when you got parvo two days after you came to me,

I prayed so hard you would recover.

And you did!

You were a little soldier, a real trooper.

And you got through the histiocytomas

And all those bouts of diarrhea.

When I thought I was going to have to give you up,

When Athena went away and you went to Kansas to live,

My heart broke.

But I found a way to bring you back.

And I remember that first Christmas when we were all alone

And watched Battlestar Galactica the whole time.

When the lump on your leg turned out to be cancer, I was sick with worry,

But you survived and recovered.

And when we moved into the loft,

You were so happy to have so much space in which to run,

And you loved sitting on the roof deck, looking out over the city

As if surveying your kingdom, sniffing the wind.

We’ve had a wonderful life together.

But now I wish I had petted you a little longer,

Threw the ball one more time,

Not stayed out so late,

Gave you another piece of chicken.

For you deserved everything good in the world.

I tried to give it all to you,

I hope you know that.

You’re looking at me now,

The spark gone out of your beautiful eyes,

Shivering from weakness.

You’re covered in a blanket and stretched out on your side

On one of your beds…the one with the small crocheted afghan.

You’ve been in more pain that I realized,

And I don’t want you to suffer.

I will never leave you again.

I will be with you until the end.

As you go, I hope you know

That you were the best thing that ever happened to me.

I was happy because of you.

You were the love of my life.

After you go, please stay with me

As I go back to our old neighborhood.

Please be with me whenever I go back to the Grand Basin,

When I walk down Louisville Street,

And when I pass by the pizza place.

Be with me when I get up in the morning

Until I go to bed at night,

And even while I’m sleeping.

I will keep you in my heart and take you everywhere I go.

And someday, our spirits will be together again,

Except then, it will be

Forever.

- 17 March 2020; St. Louis, Missouri