Fleece Is

So this has been a tough winter here.

Yes, it’s Florida, but I don’t remember this many cold days in a row. Weeks of morning temperatures in the low 30s has worn me down like a piece of sea glass. Yes, it’s true- I was born and raised in Canada, and there are photos of me as a teenager in a snow suit, driving a team of horses on a sleigh ride in the woods. Me, grinning from ear to ear in -50 degrees. I was young and stupid then too.

Then I met a traveling horse show there, and ended up in Florida. And the first summer I thought I was gonna die by melting. And they were going to find a pair of overalls laying in the heap over a puddle that used to be me. But the next summer was better, I was getting used to the humidity, and I actually was getting used to no snow.

But now I am a Floridian, I have the sweaters and sweatpants to prove it. I can no longer tolerate the cold, and really didn’t think I’d have to. And now, onto the antidote for a cold winter’s night. Fleece. The flannel sheets just weren’t cutting it, so I went online to the store that means “Tall Women in a Jungle” (Amazon) and started searching for my next comfort. So many sizes and colors and patterns to choose from, but I finally chose, from my list of finalists, a king size purple fleece blanket. I already had a purple full size fleece blanket for the couch. From couch to bed ( or sometimes bed to couch- oops) seems to be a natural progression for a lot of people, so I figured why not for a fleece blanket? Purple is a good color for me, and while other people spend enormous time and money in selecting bedroom accessories, such as comforters, pillow shams, and ruffles to make their bedrooms display-ready, but I just want something that looks good with me laying on it. Nobody’s going to see it but me, but I will know that we look awesome together.

I’ve worn pajamas to bed before, and it was ugly. Have you ever had a dream where someone is strangling you, and you can’t fight back because they’re holding your arm down? And then you’re jolted awake to realize that you’re being strangled by a pajama shirt with unicorns on it? and the sleeve has become a tourniquet to stem the blood flow from the stab wound on my arm? Only I was being strangled in the dream and not stabbed, so I guess the sleeve decided there’s no bad time to practice being a tourniquet.

This is so much easier. I don’t have to decide between wearing pajamas that celebrate the current season with pumpkins or sunflowers or Christmas trees, or hopes and dreams with unicorns and roses. Of course, there’s always SpongeBob or Curious George, in case I change my mind.

I’ve never been one to follow the crowd or swim in the same direction as everyone else. And I have found, that by going against the grain, I have inspired others to peek outside the box and decide to explore a new world. So, I put that king size purple fleece blanket on my bed and I put purple fleece blanket on top. And there’s something poetic about shedding your clothes and sliding in between two fleece blankets. The warmth is instantaneous, and the soft fluffiness feels luxurious against my skin. Some things are better hard, but that’s a different story in a different category, but the softness of fleece surrounding you is a feeling that will make you look forward to going to bed. Even alone. And the man of my dreams is off the table, but he has raised the bar so high that anyone else will have to bring an extension ladder. And then they’ll have to figure out where to set it up, and then they’ll need a spotter, and then they’ll forget something and then they’ll go up and down the ladder. And then I’ll say “ it’s better to be alone than poorly surrounded.” I thank God that I’m blessed to be in a position of not having to settle for anything that’s not what, or who, I want.

I became a widow in 2022, and I was a widow last year too, but the IRS has informed me that I am now single. If you need to know your status, the IRS will let you know if you’re married or single, but they don’t have a designation for “in a relationship”- I believe that’s Facebook’s area of expertise.

So I was thinking about fleece pillow covers. I haven’t seen any, probably because the reviews would be like “really soft but made me cough up a hairball in the middle of the night” or “ gets matted from the drool” or “ got fuzz in my eye” so I may have to stick with flannel pillow cases.

I noticed that last night was warmer, and I woke up to the blanket being in a ball in the middle of the bed. It looked a bit like a potential crime scene between the position I was in and the balled-up blanket, like maybe I got into a serious fight with a raccoon at some point.

So I’ll check the weather forecast for this week and decide if my fleece is off for the summer, and peruse a new selection. I may go rogue on my classy dark purple and get something fun to switch it up a bit. Classy to comical, sensual to sassy, glamorous to goofball- the possibilities are endless from those Tall Women. And for twenty bucks, I can find new delights for different occasions. Hearts for Valentine’s, pumpkins and leaves for fall, daisies and sunflowers for summer, snowmen for winter( have that one covered lolol) and whiskey for the holidays. Oops, wrong story. My bad…

I’m thinking of writing a romance novel with a torrid opening paragraph . With the woman crying out “oh, yes yes yes! Ooh, right there… oh yes, there! “ as her man clicks on fleece blankets over where the Talk Women have a whole jungle of them. “ don’t stop, keep going!” And he clicks on two more and just when she thinks he’s the best she’s ever had, he does IT. He adds a red one to the cart. This guy is clearly husband material. Best fleece she’s ever had.

I could influence a whole generation. Yeah, yeah , we have millennials, Gen X, Gen Z , who’s ready for Gen Fleece? I see it clearly now. Videos showing the arrival of fleece accoutrement # 132, from package to bed, chair, bathroom, couch, curtain rods. The possibilities are staggering. Paintings, paint colors (Smokin Hot Fleece) the Fleece Channel on HGTV.. I mean, really. Top songs- Fleece HoldEm, Fleece Control, Made for Fleece, and my favorite, Amazing Fleece. Fleece has changed my bedtime story, maybe even my life. Maybe it’s saved my life. Maybe I was born for fleece. About that raccoon fight…

So yeah, it’s been a tough winter here.