Finding it

I wonder if I’ll find the love,

The write about and sing songs for.

Or if I’ll be on the other end,

Of heartbreak and never after.

And while I’ve come to enough my solitude,

My heart still longs to be felt.

Hoping for something everlasting

And wrapped in desire.

And well I’d love to find it

Hold it in my hand.

I fear the changes it could demand,

For I could not change so completely.

And well my mother promises,

I won’t need to change for the right one.

I feel as though I’ve already grown too old.

Past the prime to find true love.

That instead I’ll become an old soul,

Filled with poems and songs.

And I think I could be satisfied

With all that jazz.

But I still wonder if I’ll ever find it.

A love that I do not have to chase.

Or be beaten with.

One that teaches me….

For I’ve only had suck one sided loves,

A fun past time for most.

I sinner for others.

Someone who just cannot delivery or fit.

Because they couldn’t be bothered to teach,

So I had to try and figure it out.

And so well my heart longs,

My brain screams

My body remembers

And my soul worries that maybe it’s not real.