Fibromyalgia

Tensely rising to the morn,

Apprehensive for the day

A shower eases muscles scorned

No physical symptoms to display

To look at me, you would decide

There is nothing that is wrong.

And convince yourself I have lied

For the attention all along

After bathing, to get dressed,

A trek, almost an hour!

Raising arms, now impressed

Now my face I have to scour!

Brushing teeth the arms still ache

Next, curling iron in hand

Muscles like a band to break

“Why don’t they understand?!”

Snap! Crackle! Pop! Here I come!

You can hear me walk the hall.

Head still spinning, I feel undone

Kids lucky, I did not crawl.

“Here I am, ready to go”

It’s time to start the day

Needles stab but never sew

Please God, keep my pain at bay.

Meat taught, and pinched in sorrow

Onlookers check my way

Sometimes hoping no tomorrow

Affliction worn to stay.

Working now threatens me

That I no longer count

Valued to only family

Tenions rise and mount

Bunching up, I will not give!

I will fight and not go down!

Again, now body combative.

In cortisol I drown

One more time, up from a chair

A pause, before the move

Reaching for my words from thin air

I see you don’t approve.

Fibrofog has now set

To the store, without delay,

Can’t remember what to get

Was it paint or maybe clay?

Oh yeah! I need to get the food!

What was I possibly thinkin’?

Probably again, about the pain

And maybe a little drinkin’

A joint might help release the tension

Opiates you say?

Anti-depressant, now you mention

To make me bright and gay?

Every time I take a little pill

More of me gets lost

“But you say that you are very ill,

It’s time to count the cost.”

Doctors from pedestals on high

Start looking for a clue

Staunchly, “You’re young and spry!”

Then leave with excuses lew

Sick and tired of sick and tired

Doesn’t belong just to AA

When a body’s not correctly wired

It leads the mind astray

Upon the bed, again my head

Dreaming for a different place

Begging for a different body

Or to feel God’s hand of grace.

But upon a new day I will rise

A mind set to be free,

I will lay-down my disguise

And stand up without plea.

C Richey

March 10, 2021

Dedicated to all the amazing women who inspired me to write this.