Father's Day

I have put together several books of poetry, this one celebrating Father's Day. All profits made from this book are donated to men's charities.

A Different Language

When poets spoke of men and boys and all things masculine

They never used these new-found words—confused? Let me begin…..

Babe magnet, back door man, boytoy, and bro.

Chaser, chicken, codger, DILF, restroom Romeo.

Himbo/mimbo, mack daddy, trap.

Melvin, rhino, McDreamy, snack.

FILF, champ, thoroughbred, brohanski and cheese.

Sausage, Jack and MWM. Get my thesaurus, please!

JAM 23/05/2018

The Y

In all sex chromosomes are some genes in our pseudoautosomal parts,

Essential for development that’s normal from the start.

Sex chromosomes are found in pairs, one in every cell.

Some have XX and some XY but how on earth do you tell?

Well, only men can have the Y. It’s what makes them a man

And helps with male fertility as only a Y can.

Fifty-nine million building blocks of DNA base pairs

Are found in one Y chromosome. I hear you say ‘who cares?’

Well…

That’s two percent of total DNA you find in cells

And each Y contains some fifty genes to make proteins as well.

There is an SRY gene that has a special job

Determining a foetus is not Betty only Bob.

Below you’ll see geneticists use this diagram.

It shows a chromosome’s relative size. It’s called an idiogram.

The Y is stained with chemicals and a microscope is used

To view the bands of light and dark (in this case pink and blue).

These bands are little markers to show where all the genes

On each and every chromosome, can easily be seen.

So, when he’s talking gibberish, you’re thinking ‘who IS this guy?’

Take time out, remember the genes and ask the reason Y.

JAM 23/05/2018

So Sad

Oh, what a life living with one and loving another,

Being father and husband but desiring your lover.

I cannot comprehend life where love is a crime,

Knowing that passion could mean doing time.

Furtive glances, meetings at night fearfully finding him willing

To share real sex and a moment of love and all for the cost of two shillings.

Humiliating labels: ‘Inverts’ – born gay.

But corrupted - ‘a pervert’, you’ll certainly pay.

I’m so sorry Grandad, born in the wrong era.

A closeted life lived in sadness and fear.

Your story and others’ live on in our minds. Your struggles and fears have been heard.

And though our society is still not quite there, free and gay are synonymous words.

I’d like to think that wherever you are with Jesus in heaven above,

You’re surrounded by angels and my mum and dad and openly, happy in

love.

JAM 02/05/2018

A Prayer for Fathers' Day

On Father’s Day, we humbly pray, to you our loving Lord,

That all the dads around the world are treasured and adored.

We pray that those with family, dogs and little nippers

Are sat in comfy armchairs while someone brings their slippers.

We pray that those who spend this day with no-one, all alone,

At least will find some comfort from a child who wants to phone.

We pray that children old and young, for those on whom they dote

Will bring them tea and let them have control of the TV remote.

We hope that you will bless the dads and grandads (great ones too)

And keep them safe wherever they are and whatever they may do.

Watch over those who have a pint or pop out to a club.

Please bring them safely back to home from cinema or pub.

For every dad is different and like us, have their faults,

Are getting through this difficult life with all its knocks and jolts.

They may have irritating habits and funny things to say

But, finally, we thank you Lord, for all their unique ways.

JAM 02/05/2018

Around the World

Baba, Babba, Patri, Pai, Papa, Apa, Abbu Tad,

Isä, Isa, Otosan, Vader, Vader, Tat.

Otec, Otac, Pita-ji, Tevs, Pare, Pare, Missier, Pap,

Pattri, Tatay, Papa, Da, Abba, Pabbi, Babbas, Dad.

Albanian, Arabic, Sicilian, Portuguese, Spanish, Hungarian, Urdu, Welsh,

Finnish, Estonian, Japanese, Afrikaans, Dutch, Romanian,

Slovenian, Bosnian, Hindi, Latvian, Valencian, Venetian, Maltese, Russian,

Cantonese, Filipino, French, Chechen, Hebrew, Icelandic, Greek, English.

JAM 24/05/2018

I Miss You Dad

I miss you dad.

I miss your smile.

I miss the way you’d go that extra mile for me.

I miss you dad.

I miss our chats.

I miss the way you wouldn’t dress up the facts.

I miss you dad.

I miss your eyes.

I miss the way you’d always sigh.

I miss you dad.

JAM 23/04/2018

It Shouldn't Matter

It shouldn’t make a difference if your dad is black or white.

It shouldn’t make a difference if he’s tall or lacking height.

It shouldn’t make a difference if he’s gay or has a wife

As long as he will love you and protect you through your life.

It doesn’t really matter if he sometimes makes a mess.

It doesn’t really matter if he likes to wear a dress.

It doesn’t really matter if he didn’t go to school.

If he loves you and is there for you don’t treat him like a fool.

Be thankful if you have a dad who takes the time to be

A father, friend and confidante and loves you endlessly.

Be thankful for his funny ways, the silly things he does

Be thankful if you have a dad who smothers you with love.

JAM 03/06/2018

Now I Understand

We haven’t spoken in a while but there are things you should know.

For one thing, now that I’m grown up, I understand.

I get why you left.

I get why you and mum couldn’t be together.

I can still feel the hurt I felt when I watched you go.

I still remember the fear when you raised your hand,

Feeling bereft

Wondering why you two couldn’t weather the storms.

But now I’m grown up I can see how you are just a man

And how we all muddle through life.

It doesn’t come with a guide book.

We have to write it as we go along, don’t we?

Your next chapter could go straight down the pan.

Let’s face it your knack for failure is pretty rife.

But now I’m grown up, by hook or by crook

We will write your next chapter together, you and me.

JAM 23/04/2018

Our Language

Did you know it’s men we need to thank for certain words?

I’d lay a bet that all of them I’m sure you will have heard.

Matthew Coffin gave us all the famous funeral box.

Captain Frederick Bollard stopped dented ships on docks.

Within the fifteenth century lived a killer – Walter Strangle.*

Then women’s lives were bettered by the man named Herbert Mangle.

Matthais Easel’s idea made art easier it seemed

And guess what was devised by the Marquis de Latrine?

If you fancy going out to Binge upon a Curry

It’s Sir Oswald and Sir George who lent their names without a worry.

Walter Gadget was the man who thought of random toys

And Alfred Gasket helped out with the cars for bigger boys.

When next you spin upon your chair, remember Jonathon Swivel.

Matthew Pilchard – little fish. Honest, it’s not drivel!

Golfer, Horace Niblick’s club could chip as well as slice.

Nathaniel Bigot was a man who wasn’t very nice.

Alessandro Fiasco was followed by bad luck.

Geoffroy de Cissac, Sieur de Moustache said he wouldn’t pluck.

When eating at a party thank Pierre-Alphonse Buffet.

And if there’s entertainment thank Antoine Cabaret!

A man invented comfy shoes, his name was Auguste Sandal.

Sir Henry Scaffold’s name became synonymous with scandal!

Benoit de Chassis - the most clever bit of cars.

Friedrich von Wink, the cheekiest by far.

I could go on, the list is long, so many men to thank

For giving us so many words to keep in our think tanks!

JAM 29/05/2018

*Original spelling is Walter Strangel

Single Dads (and Mums)

It’s twice the work but twice the reward I’ve always said and that is entirely true. It does not give justice though to the hundreds of nights when worry prevents you from sleeping through. It does not reveal how scared you feel when all your dice have been thrown; the sad resolve of pulling the rabbit out of the hat, once again, all alone. It doesn’t show the tearful despair of desperately wanting someone to just make you a cup of tea or take the kids out of the bathroom while you have a wee in peace. That phrase omits the bit where you dredge the depths for yet more enthusiasm over another picture made at school while your mind is a blur of dinner, uniforms, appointments and kit for the swimming pool. It certainly does not illustrate how you shoulder the burden of responsibility for immunisations, education and examinations. On the flip side ‘it’s twice the work but twice the reward’ does not recognize the absolute joy of those arms around you; the smiles that surround you like an imperceptible blanket; the giggly moments replayed in your head and that incredible, unbreakable togetherness that soothes your soul or the immeasurable pleasure as they meet their goals. It does not explain the chest-bursting pride as your children grow and they’ve done their best and, what do you know? You’ve actually done OK.

JAM 04/06/2018

Relationships

Boyfriend, uncle, nephew, brother.

Carer, godson, father, lover,

Colleague, grandad, friend, cousin,

Husband, in-law, neighbour, son,

Grandson, godfather in you we trust

And cherish the ties that bind all of us.

JAM 29/05/2018

The Advantages of Age

There once was a father called David

Who, according to some, was quite aged.

He was almost retired

When three kids he sired

“A breakdown!” the neighbours all wagered.

The neighbours would soon be aware

That Dave was quite able to fare.

He never got cross.

The kids knew he was boss.

He was much more emotion prepared.

Being older than some David knew

He’d financial stability too.

The kids would be stronger,

Their lives would be longer,

They’d also be brighter (it’s true!).

JAM 15/05/2018

The Clock

At one o’clock I was helpless, new-born. You taught me to walk, talk, eat and speak. We played together and you began to teach me right from wrong.

At two o’clock I went to primary school. You showed me how to be brave, not be scared. I made friends and you held me when my pets died. We had good time together and time apart but you made me see that that was okay.

By three o’clock I was growing up fast and started secondary school. You and I clashed at times. I pushed the boundaries but you kept them in place.

Four o’clock came and I was almost a grown-up. Still father and child but becoming more equal. We had similarities but different opinions and that was okay too.

The clock hands reached five o’clock and you were there through first love, first job, first big mistakes. You showed me that it’s good to try and okay to fail.

By six o’clock I could see that you were proud of me and the mark I was making on the world. You supported me when I wanted my own family.

Between seven and eight o’clock your loving ways had permeated our family. You took a step back but left a grandad shaped bridge for us to cross whenever we wanted to.

At nine o’clock you retired. We all crossed your bridge to support you and tell you how proud we were of you and all you had achieved.

From ten o’clock to 11 o’clock it was obvious that the hands of your clock were slowing down but still you had time for us. Now we were equals, both adults, both grandparents, not clashing anymore, no boundaries to push.

And when I knew that your clock would soon stop at twelve, we spent more time together and this time I told you to be brave, not to be scared. And then I looked for you but you were gone and I was a little child once more.

JAM 23/04/2018

The Time Traveler

Through swirling, silvery, misty clouds and golden streaks of time,

A man, a father, a patrasfamilias discovered he could fly.

On silent wings of unseen speed the centuries did pass

Until the billowing mass revealed a distant time and class.

The year was 1453 men had specific roles.

(Only in the public sphere though, not within the home.)

These fathers were expected to support and love their kids

Even illegitimacy made them do their bit.

Forward on through mists of time our traveller did speed

Until one hundred years had passed in shades of brown and green.

‘How interesting’ our traveller thought, on seeing all the fathers

Earning coins to feed their kin as artisans or farmers.

Even rich dads had a role to keep their offspring fine,

Ensuring that inheritance stayed in the family line.

Once more a swirling, rainbow coloured light began to shine.

Our traveller then found himself in 1659.

Low class men in agriculture, livestock, crafts and fishing

Still ruled their wives and families with love-laced disciplining.

High class men were dutiful in aiming to prolong

Their fathers’ lines and assets with children by the throng.

But darkness came of famine and plague and endless types of strife.

Survival then became a family’s only aim in life.

Once more our valiant voyager was thrown into the past,

Into the eighteenth century when changes made would last.

Fathers still protected, loved and cared for children, yet

It widely was believed that time had made all men perfect.

Life revolved around them, though Christianity preached

That dads all over answer now to church, God and their priest.

Intrepid exploring was tiring, though interesting every bit.

Soon our traveler was off again in clouds all brightly lit.

He ended up, it seemed to him, in 1842

When dads had to adjust to innovations coming through.

Times were looking modern and technology was growing.

Fathers were the patriarchs, loving, strict, all-knowing.

Yet again the swirling mists of time surrounded him,

Our wanderer, enveloped, carried, deposited within

The middle of the twentieth century. Dads brought money home

To clothe, provide and cater for his children as they’d grown.

At this time domestic work was not part of his life.

It was considered womanly, the remit of the wife.

Finally, our traveller knew his journey must soon end.

The century, the twenty-first was just around the bend.

His journey, one of wonder, one of interest and awe

Had made him feel he would respect his own dad rather more.

And so our man could see that years of change had forged

A new dad now involved in work and kids and household chores.

‘In retrospect’, our traveller thought, ‘we men have muddled through.

We’ve done our best to do what’s right (sometimes without a clue).’

So, let us just confirm, through time, our fathers and our dads

Have done their best, in trying times and for that we should be glad.

JAM 22/05/2018

What You Don't Have You Don't Miss

Why weren’t you there? Why didn’t you care?

Was it so easy to walk away?

I ask myself every waking day

What was it about me you couldn’t bear?

I’ve never met you face to face.

I wonder just what would you say?

Do you ever think of that possible day

Or have I never had in your mind, a place?

At times I do think about background and looks,

What exotic things I have missed.

Truthfully though, on my familial list

I could read all about you in books.

I don’t really care, if truth be told

And what you don’t have, you don’t miss.

I might not know much but I’ll tell you this:

My mum’s worth her weight in gold.

JAM 28/04/2018