Faith

I first began writing around the age of 12. I was in 7th grade, and the overwhelming feelings and emotions that accompany becoming a teen were becoming apparent. Naturally, I channeled those feelings and put them on paper, creating a number of angsty poems and short stories.

A few years earlier, my grandma had given me a small, hardback journal with a picture of a teddy bear on the cover, which I covered with a printout of a vampire biting his mistress. I secured the makeshift cover in place with a hot pink vinyl stick-on cover that was translucent enough to only tinge the drama-filled image.

I began my writing journey with a short poem titled Faith. It wasn't religious in any way, and focused more on darkness swallowing all, but a glimmer of hope still existing through the kindness of others.

I honestly don't know what my intentions were back then. I suppose I was aiming to push out all of the feelings of loneliness and isolation that had really taken a toll during those years. I was socially awkward and severely emotionally neglected by my parents. Still, I found tiny bits of happiness in my life…the few friends I had, my dog, the teachers that saw my potential and supported me. I'm grateful for having those anchors to get me through the dark times.

I still have that journal to this day. I keep it tucked away in a small chest along with other items of sentimental value. Although my writing style continues to carry that dark undertone, most of the teenage angst has gone. I still cherish that awkward phase, and revisiting my early writing allows me to connect with my own children as they also struggle with those right of passage demons. I encourage them to create every chance I get, through drawing, painting, and writing. They all have their own medium, and I'm thankful for that and the deep bond that we share.