Fading Initials

FADING INITIALS

My scars formed a pattern that spells out your name,

This is to say....I can not erase it,

And so you are all I'm covered with,

My body became an ever present reminder that I was once yours and some part of me still is.

You told me our pulses were the same,

...I believed you,

I listen to my pumping blood whenever I miss your voice,

It's...not quite the same,

It seems like your shadow,

Like a second hand version of you,

Like a lingering form I can't touch,

And so I've gotten used to the feeling of your nonexistent presence,

See when you left,

An abyss filled your absence,

Draining me mercilessly until I turned lifeless,

Until my bones didn't have flesh to support,

Until my blood didn't have a body to nourish,

You once told me we're all particle and dust in our core,

And somehow I felt this more than ever.

My dear,

My scars formed a pattern that spells out your name,

But, scars heal and names get forgotten,

And soon your initials will be buried benateh my skin,

Soon I will no longer trace them the way my fingures have memorized,

Soon I will make peace with the pieces of you that have merged with mine,

Soon...I will learn to live with the darkness the way you taught me how.

~