Every Night Feelings

01. The End

Let me start at the end

Where everything begins

of losing you again,

myself.

02. Where it starts

While I am trying to end things

you are at dawn,

but casting dim on me.

Lighting darkness within,

unleashing the chaos,

feeling the wound,

reminiscing pang of remorse.

Recollection of someone

where it starts.

With you.

03. Yellow Blanket

Inside my blanket,

It seems bright and yellow,

but it's dark and suffocating.

And I can't see anything.

Inside my blanket,

It is dark, but you can clearly see me.

It's suffocating, yet I feel free.

I can't see anything;

but I can feel everything.

04. Clouds

I envy the clouds for raining

because when it feels heavy,

it can easily release the burden

When I feel heavy,

it becomes a burden

every time I try to release

Maybe I am the burden

that is heavy,

Need to be released.

05. Paralyzed

Like wandering in the vast abyss

Formidable din echoed

A tormented episode

Seems to be no end

Immovable feet

Dark vision

A cold, trembling hands

Clouded mind

Unrecognizable by unknown.

Just a void, pretentious act

So, I made a barricade,

Allowing no one

Paralyzed me makes paralyzed you

No one moves

cause no one knows

06. If I'm not me.

I always thought of myself as being with another body,

wearing my ideal face,

a different set of friends,

status in life,

and perspective —

just a completely different life of what I have now.

I wonder what it's like to be not me

because maybe I am better if I'm not me.

07. Me

Don't look at me,

you will not see me.

Don't call my name,

that's not my real identity.

Don't expect from me,

you'll be hurt.

Don't go with me,

you'll be alone.

Don't love me,

I don't know me.

08. Because you are not familiar with me

I am familiar with losing

because I never won

to someone,

to you,

to me.

I am familiar with failure because I never succeeded,

to my own

self

I am familiar with the competition

but only with a specific enemy —

myself, only

I am familiar with you

a supposed

and ideal me

yet too dreamy,

imaginary.

I am familiar with you

because you are not familiar with me.

09. I am Missing. (you)

Battling with self

is the worst feeling.

I am my only ally

and enemy.

Feeling blue

in my colorless world.

Color blinded

with own feeling

I feel sick

with a strange diagnosis.

I can't move without this __

A blank.

something is missing

within me

someone is

A lost piece.

find me.

I am missing.

You.

10. Danger

Isn’t Ironic

How do I feel safe with you,

my danger?

11. A-Desperate-Call

Please don’t stay

Leave me, I’m okay

Be away

I want to see the ray

I am screaming,

I am calling.

I am smiling,

I am calling.

I want to escape,

I like to reshape,

I long for a break

I wait for my own sake

Please, respond to the call

of a desperate soul

12. The Start

This is not the end,

but the start of something.

My life never stops.

I will write

Every night,

Again.