Endlessly Deep Negativity

That moment when you lay

Awake in bed, unable to sleep,

When everything rushes through

Your mind on an endless reel.

You wonder and you question

How you ended up in this place

How you ended up with the scratches

Up and down your arms, tears in your eyes.

You cry and sob and then become numb

Because of the pain stuck in your heart

Clouded out by your mind to make you

Seem happy and put together.

The tears stop falling and numbness

Sets in, filling the space of the pain

Filling the holes that have formed

Hiding the pain from the heart.

It hurts, it breaks, it is numb

It is nothing, everything, all things

It shatters, it hides, it has some laughter.

This place is my mind and welcome to it

Beware of this place as it is dark

Beware as you may not have strength

Beware, this is me when I say I am fine

Beware of the lies of my eyes, of the truth of my heart.

Remember I warned you, you continued

Remember I gave you an opening

Remember I never even wanted to share

Remember you asked to get to know me.

Thoughts scour my mind, hiding in places

That cannot be seen, cannot be heard

That can hide the pain and make me numb

That cannot let me feel even one thing for long.

It has been years and it still continues

Life isn't what people believe it to be

It is pain, it is suffering, it is sadness

Felt deep, it is a never-ending space