Empty

Empty.

That’s me today

Push myself to the limit,

Exceeding the line I drew from the last time

I live my life to an extreme

I am redeemed,

But people make it hard,

Wrestling my thoughts, constantly in a struggle

I used to walk on solid ground,

Now I stumble

Feeling exiled

Surviving the wild,

Paranoia setting in,

Lost in a vortex

Starting to get a complex,

My soul is gone, to infinity and beyond,

Help everyone else and don’t ask for help myself

Fire’s ablaze, ash is what I became

The word says to love them like Jesus

Even though it’s not reciprocated,

I bless them

Unaccomplished, but persistent

Ungodly people, wearing the cloak of forgiveness

Curses is what they’re repeating

While they pat me on the back

So I’m feeling empty, a zombie

Yet God opens up His arms,

And love crashes into me like a tsunami

Tear stained cheeks, driven to my knees

Exalting the One who provides eternal life

Then my thoughts spiral one after the other

I am undeserving, self-sabotaging, and disturbing

As my gas light comes on,

I have nothing left in me to fight

But I pray as I push the pedal on the right

Because I have enough to suffice,

Until this vessel is depleted from her love and talents

Until my body is left empty, and my soul soars to the Heavens