Embracing the Rainbow

I can't be the only one who's spent many a sleepless night;

Questioning life and my purpose, mind wandering.

What makes me, me? How am I unique?

I remember lying awake pondering.

When I couldn't quite figure it out myself,

I decided the people around me probably know best.

And one by one I questioned them all

So determined I was on my quest.

"You're mature beyond your years", my mother said proudly.

(Thanks Mom, it's all the trauma, I joked in my head).

"Smartest person I know," was my best friend's contribution,

I laughed, unbelieving, maybe something else instead?

It seems I have the softest lips and a dazzling smile,

As per my date from last week.

And amazing self-assurance and confidence said my cousin;

How? Does she not see me always internally freak?

So what am I if none of the above,

What makes me unique?

It's actually all of it and so much more, I realised.

And I started to discover what I had set out to seek.

I am rereading Harry Potter for maybe the fourteenth time,

For comfort when the skies are dull and grey;

And the bright green puffer coat I bought

To add brightness to a dreary winter day.

I am the dried up red rose I've saved in the pages of a diary,

And of an old lover it fondly makes me think;

I am the sheer joy I feel when the sun is about to set,

And the sky turns gorgeous shades of orange and pink.

I am the milk chocolate hued birthmark on my right thigh,

Which I once hid but now show off, proud.

I am the rhythm and blues I blast in my room,

When the outside world gets too noisy, too loud.

I am black as the dark rum I choose to drink,

To wash away the exhaustion of the working week;

And the movie I put on again and again for some white noise,

When my thoughts seem to get too bleak.

And so there may be some bruises on my soul,

Glowing purple and yellow and black.

But there is a whole rainbow inside of me,

Making up for everything I think I lack.

And that is what truly makes me who I am,

This unwavering, unshakeable faith and trust;

That I'll be alright, it'll be a happy ending,

And so on-wards and upwards I must!