Suspended in some unknown depth
electricity fizzes its way
towards its glitching death,
turmoil twitches
the smell of burning on the breath
doused in flammable liquid
trapped deep within the self.
The corridor seems never to end
and this pincushion bed of glass doesn’t tickle anymore.
All sensations prove bitter pills to swallow
traumatised by the thrills, which so many others chase
crippled by the bills so many others easily pay.
I just wish that she would stay
her voice is distant now
its echoes edging slow, slowly further away
bleeding whispers
faint and pale
fading into the liquid night.
I search for her
I run ravenous, searching somewhere in dismay
the floors turn soft and melt away
and I sit suspended in the darkness
that we helped create
our ugly modern homes
the quirks not ours,
curated from late night scrolls on eBay
we eat the pixels,
we eat the pixels,
eat the pixels while we hope for change
(But not too much change, now,
we mustn’t get over-excited)
we eat the pixels
eat the pixels,
and decorate our cage,
until we feel fit to burst,
full of rage
our lives unchanged,
pointing fingers at each other
pain resurfaced,
rearranged,
until its tsunami wave turned forceful
and it pushed you
far away.
Now I eat the pixels,
alone through the night,
fingers trapped in gentle swiping patterns,
Jellyfish movements,
struggling to fill the gaps of life
that cannot be filled
by what the screen has to show me.
I eat the pixels,
greedy,
wondering where it all went wrong,
the faint truth winking
a finger pressed to its blueing lips.
About the Creator
Reece Beckett
Poetry and cultural discussion (primarily regarding film!).
Author of Portrait of a City on Fire (2020, Impspired Press). Also on Medium and Substack, with writing featured… around…
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More stories from Reece Beckett and writers in Poets and other communities.
Make Sure
Make sure you get a job, but that doesn’t pay too much so you can get food stamps and state sponsored health insurance. Otherwise you need $200 per month at least to pay for health insurance so you’re not paying $10,000 when you need an ambulance ride. With insurance, it’ll only be $2000. Isn’t it great? Also, remember when your SSI goes up with the cost-of-living, that your food stamps will decrease because you’re making more income, even though the price of food goes up too, and even staying on the same amount of EBT buys less already. And remember, if you have a disability, you can’t have more than $2000 across your checking and savings account. You can still work though, just don’t make too much or you’ll lose your benefits. It’s expensive to be poor; make sure to save every penny you find on the ground. It’s not taxable, and you’ll need it at the grocery store. And remember that the cheap insurance is barely covering anything, so make sure to not need too many appointments or medications, and to keep your sicknesses down. If you have an issue with your food stamps or Section 8, make sure to take off a day from work (Yes, the day you accounted for to be able to pay rent, that one) so you can go to the housing office and/or social services to wait in line to be scanned for weapons (including crochet hooks, you could dully stab a bitch) to be frustrated at a system to staff that are not paid enough to make excuses for the department they work for. Don’t forget to pay your rent that’s more than half of your income. Don’t forget to report to your pointless job for less than a living wage. If you had a living wage, then you wouldn’t be here at a social services office, now would you? Don’t forget to buy healthy food, even though it is more expensive, and not as fast as fast food, in your already limited free time outside of work, which must also be used for sleep, unless you work two or three jobs, and in that case: best of luck, you fuck! Lastly, life is short, so don’t forget to have fun!
By Ariana GonBon8 days ago in Poets
Day 4 of Quitting
If this is how sobriety feels, maybe it’s better to go through life a little buzzed… this, along with other hits like, I want to kill myself, I wish I was dead, and I’m going to throw myself off a bridge have been the only thoughts on rotation these past few days. I promise myself that if, in a month, I still feel like this (‘this’ meaning despondent, full of rage, and simultaneously numb) I can go back to smoking. Until mid-February though? Nicotine is off the table.
By sleepy drafts4 days ago in Longevity
Comments (1)
Nice to see a (sort of) familiar face! #PixelsForTheWin.