drawing lines in hot wax

the urge will intrude when it chooses

you will wait for me to fall asleep

i know you love me,

because you locked the door on your way out

replaced by a pillow once again

waking in a fright,

i swear i was holding you tight

in your alternative to life

another lie you will promise

you will say it was just another regret

but when you fall next,

please do not look for my net

please do not wait,

for me to pick you up

this is your repetitious rut

your dust must settle on its own

i love you dearly,

but i have grown

i will not stay this time

my resistance will not be deterred

a precocious wisdom,

that demands to be heard

do not try to fool me tonight,

in your alternative to life

another pill another hit

then you will say,

it was just another low pit

one more wound on a scarred heart

tired youthful eyes

sitting quietly,

crying in the dark

please sunlight,

you are not welcome on my face yet

i counted headlights all night,

now your rays through my window too?

does anyone know,

i am alone in this room?

even now after i am so far gone,

no obligation to return

you stay my favorite song

my soul continues to struggle

the story it tells

jaded and cold

a depth you will never truly learn,

but my heart will never be yours to earn,

because it holds you closest

in your alternative to life

i would not rather have faced any other trife

because if you never knew,

of all the blood you drew

or saw the scars your actions created

i would find nothing but content,

because if there were only one thing

i could show you in the end,

i would show you that i love you,

and that in every alternative to life

will i choose you