Don't judge me

I never said I was healthy

I never claimed to be sane

I know I'm reverting to bad habits

to help deal with the pain

So don't judge me if I reach for another

when you turned your back on us first

I'll find comfort elsewhere

when I'm feeling my worst

I don't want anyone else

You would have been enough for me

You checked all my boxes

and would've satisfied me completely

But I know you're no longer untouched

I don't see how you could remain so

So when you're holding her at night

don't judge me for having to go

down this road I've traveled before

trying to lose myself in another's arms

It's a short-term fix, I know

and will do less good than harm

But when I think of you with someone else

my mind goes someplace dark

The pain and heartache I feel need an outlet

or else they would leave a mark

But god I wish it was you beside me

holding me through the night

The thought that your arms are already full

quickly dims the fading light

So don't judge me for finding a way to cope

a way to deal with the loss of you

You're finding comfort with her

I need to find a way forward, too

I need to think of something else

something besides this constant ache

I need to feel something more than empty

although I know it's a mistake

So don't judge me for finding a distraction

something to take my mind off you

I would've loved you forever if you'd let me

but your decisions made that impossible to do