Distractions

I’m forever busy

My schedule is always filled with

Distractions that

Scarcely catch my eye

With desire and hope that

Something may work or that

Someone may help

Better this feeling

That follows me

Wherever I go.

I feel this for attention

Everything has gone smoothly

In my life

Nothing severe has ever fallen upon me,

So why do I feel this way?

Everyone has these moments,

But why does mine seem to last

Forever?

With no way out, I must be following

Today’s society.

No one must know

Not any living soul

May know of my feelings

For they may judge me

Or talk about me

Behind my back

So I must paste this smile

Upon my face

Until it becomes genuine.

It’s getting worse

As scars form I hide my body

To not gain attention

And hopefully, everything will eventually

Get better, but right now

I’m running out of room

And it’s hard to think

When my head is heavy

So my hair no longer sways behind me,

But stands in my face.

Has it really come to this?

Everything feels different

And I don't want to live

But I’m too scared to die

I struggle to contradict my thoughts

Nothing appeals to me anymore

There’s no point

As I lie in my bed, I try to

Picture what life would be like if

None of this happened.